For Our Blue and Pure World
by melissabann
Summary: When a mission to investigate BLUE COSMOS ends in tragedy Miriallia Haww and Yzak Joule volunteer to take over the mission and search for survivors.
1. Prologue: In The Memorial Park

**Prologue: In The Memorial Park  
*** Present Day - March 4th, 79 CE *****

The young woman walked alone through the park. Finally she stopped when she reached the memorial fountain in the center. She knelt down and laid flowers in front of it before sitting on the ground. She pulled her knees close to her body wrapping her arms around to hold them.

She was a very beautiful woman, for a natural. She had let her light brunette hair grow out over the past few years. She kept it in a loose braid always flowing over her heart. It was long enough that it reached nearly to her belly button. Her eyes were a perfect mix of blue and green. They were big and almost like windows into her soul.

She looked up at the many names and ranks written on the plaque. The name at the top stuck out to her. She never wanted to see his name there. Part of her still wished he was out there somewhere... alive. She knew it was crazy, he was gone. But her wish to see him again never died nor would it ever.

"I thought you might be here Haww" Said a young man behind her. Without looking back she replied with sadness in her voice.

"It's been a long time since I've had the courage to come here" She looked up to the sky closing her eyes for a few seconds before opening them "I can't believe it's been 5 years"

"I know. I miss him too" The young man stood by the female natural for a few minutes in silence before speaking again. "We should get going. Our meeting with the Three Councils is in a couple of hours remember"

"I know Yzak." He reached his hand down to help her up. She accepted and was pulled to her feet. She looked back at the plaque. Focused on the same name.

"He's dead. There was nothing we could have done" he said sadly realizing where she was looking.

Miriallia looked the coordinator deep in the eyes before speaking "If we had gotten there sooner than maybe we could have saved him. If the team was assembled faster"

"You may have been able to save the others but… he would have st-"

"We could have given him medical attention"

"His life would have been saved, yes, but that is all. After what that soldier said. The pain that he must have endured. It's better that it ended"

"You would wish him dead?"

"It's better that than the alternative." Mir looked to the ground she didn't want to hear what he had to say. "Those who were there that day, that saw what he went through they were so screwed up. Even if he had lived he wouldn't have been the same... Besides we can't change the past. He's dead and nothing can ever change that."

"I know you're right but I can't shake this feeling. There's something that just isn't right about his death"

"Nothing will ever be right about it." He said as he put his hand on her shoulder "Come on we need to get going, the sun is starting to set"

"I hate the sunset" she spat.

"I know" he said as he put his arm around her shoulder and began to guide her out of the park. She looked back as they walked out. Just one last time she needed to read his name. One last time to know it was real.

 _Captain Dearka Elsman_  
 _Loyal Soldier & Friend_


	2. Chapter I: Body Language

**Chapter I: Body Language  
*** February 27th, 74 CE *****

He walked down the halls of the Supreme Council building. He greeted each soldier with a salut. As he turned the corner he was surprised to see her. She was looking out the window at the sun setting. She had always loved the sunset, even the artificial one of the colonies. She was wearing her Orb uniform that fit her perfectly. It showed off all her curves beautifully. Her hair was a bit longer than it was the last time he saw her. It had been two years… two long years since he last saw or spoke with her.

"I heard the other soldiers talking about the smoking hot girl from Orb but I never expected to it to be you"

"Dearka!" She gasped as she turned around.

"Hey Mir, long time no see" He replied as they hugged tightly. It felt so good to hold her in his arms again. They pulled apart slowly but still held each others hands. "I don't think I've seen you sin-"

"Since I dumped you"

Dearka chuckled at her boldness "Is that what you've been telling people?" He leaned against the window folding his arms in front of him. She followed suit and leaned against it as well placing her hands behind her for support.

She looked at him before chuckling herself and replying "And what would you call it?"

He leaned his head back against the window looking up at the lights. "I think it was more of a mutual break up if you ask me. We were young and stupid. You were still grieving and I was confused about having feelings for a natural. Our relationship was mostly physical. Neither of us could handle the emotional back then. So when you suggested ending things I agreed without complaint. I knew if we continued the way we were going our relationship would implode and we would hate each other."

"I guess you're right" She said as she lightly tucked her hair behind her ear. Dearka watched closely as she did so. He couldn't believe he forgot how cute she was. He never thought he'd see her again but he always wished he would.

"Look at those two idiots down there" he said motioning with his head to tell her to look down the hall.

"Isn't that your friend Yzak with a female ZAFT soldier?" she asked looking at him with one eyebrow raised.

"Yes. Yzak and his Lieutenant Shiho Hahnenfuss"

"Why call them idiots? In a fight with him again?"

"Nah it's nothing like that. It's the fact that they are perfect for each other. Not only that, they both like each other but neither one of them will ever make a move without someone pushing them to do so."

"How do you know they like each other?"

"Body language" he stated matter-factly

"Body language?" she questioned.

"Yeah. Just look at Shiho. She's not a girly girl by any means. She even wears a male ZAFT uniform. She tough and hard just like Yzak. But when she's around him she's different. She's all nervous and often tucks her hair behind her ears like she suddenly cares about how it looks" He looked over to Mir only to see her tuck her hair behind her ear again. He smiled to himself. She didn't notice him looking at her. "I don't think she even notices she does it or how often. As for him besides the fact that I've got him to reluctantly admit his feelings to me, it's all about how he looks at her. He looks at her with a stern look as he always does everyone. But the moment she looks away his eyes soften."

"Geez Elsman I didn't know you were such a romantic" she joked before looking at him. He was looking at her so sweetly. Automatically she started to move her hand up to tuck her hair back again but realizing she was doing it she stopped. "So why not tell them of each others' feelings"

"It could never come from me. I've spent the better part of two years with them. They would just think it was me wanting to shake things up or something. I just wish they would stop being stupid and admit their feelings. There's nothing worst then having the person you care more about in the entire universe next to you and being to scared to admit your feelings."

"Yeah I-I guess you're right"

"So… Why you here in the PLANTs?" he questioned.

"I was here for the signing of the Treaty. But now I'm staying until Cagalli's business here is done..."

"So you're with the military again? What happened to the whole photography thing?"

"It's on hold for now. I feel like they need me here right now."

"You're really going to put your life on hold for a feeling?"

"Why not? You betrayed ZAFT in the first war because you had a 'feeling' it was the right thing to do"

He laughed a small bit "I guess you're right. So you're waiting for Cagalli to get out of her meeting I take it"

"Yes. They were making a decision today on who would be investigating the recent BLUE COSMOS activity."

"Yeah. I hear the leader of the mission is devilishly handsome"

Mir turned and looked at him in shock "You? But you're just a major?"

"I was. But now I'm trading in this old green uniform for a black one. I'm a captain now. I just need to stop by personnel to get my new uniform."

"That's amazing!" She hugged him tightly. She knew how much being a soldier meant to him. His career was derailed for a while after the first war but now it was back on track. She pulled away from him. They both blushed slightly. "Sorry… old habits die hard"

"It… it's okay." He looked away trying to hide the blush across her face. "I need to go down to personelle… walk with me?" She nodded and walked beside him. When they reached personnel Dearka entered alone. She waited patiently outside until he emerged with the new uniform in hand. "let me just drop these off at my room then I'll help you find Cagalli"

She followed closely behind him. They reached a room at the end of a hall and he punched in a code. Inside was an average military room. It was neat and tidy, not one thing out of place. On his bed was his duffel bag. "You learned to clean I see"

"A good soldier is a tidy one" He replied. She walked over to his dresser as Dearka began to take off his boots and unbuckle his belt. He was planning on changing into his new uniform before heading out. Mir looked at the various things on top of his dresser until something caught her eye. She picked up an old wrinkled photo.

"I can't believe you still have this"

"What?" he asked before noticing what she was holding. He walked over and stood behind her. "Of course I do. It's a great picture, and the only one I have of the two of us. I bring it into every battle… kind of like a good luck charm"

"You really think I'm that lucky to have around?" She said before turning around. He was standing so close to her. She couldn't believe how much taller he had gotten since she last seen him. His muscles were so much bigger, she hadn't noticed before. She felt her breathing become slightly erratic.

"You are the luckiest thing that's happened in my life" he said seductively. Almost like an old reflex she reached up to him on her tippy toes and kissed him softly. He quickly returned the kiss deepening it. He wrapped his arms around her waist before lifting her up onto the dresser. Their kissing intensified. Mir moaned as he moved to kiss her neck, she always loved when he did that.

"Dearka" she cried out softly as he undid her jacket and kissed her between her breasts. It felt so right to be like this with him again. Like an itch that was finally being scratched. She reached down and undid his pants with great skill. His pants fell to the floor and he kicked them to the side. He was focused on the woman in his arms.

"If I didn't know better I would think you want something more than talking right now" He whispered. She grabbed his hand and guided it up her tight skirt.

"Don't make me beg" she said in a raspy voice. He smirked. The both wanted this. He helped her off the dresser before removing her jacket. He whipped his jacket and shirt off before kissing her deeply leaning against the solid piece of furniture. He was down to his boxers and Miriallia could clearly see how much he wanted her.

She pulled her skirt down then quickly removed her shirt. She was down to just her bra and underwear. She pressed her body against his as they continued to make out. His body felt so different now. The muscles that covered his body drove her crazy. He picked her up and pressed her against an empty wall. He kissed down her neck and chest as she moaned. "You sure you want this" he asked seductively already knowing the answer.

She playfully bit his lip before answering. "I need you now." He pulled her away from the wall throwing her onto the bed. He removed his boxers before pushing his duffle bag to the floor. He pulled her up so her head was on the pillows. He moved on top of her as they continued to kiss. He had never wanted her more than he did right now.

Mir reached up and pushed him down onto the bed. She climbed up on top of him and removed her bra. He looked up at her with a smile on his face. "You're so beautiful" He bit his lip trying to stop his jaw from dropping. She traced her finger from her neck down between her breast. Past her bellybutton and across her thighs. She could feel every bit of how much he liked this.

"If you want me so badly Captain Elsman take me already" he love those words coming out of her mouth, to hear her call him Captain. He couldn't take the teasing and build up anymore he needed her now. He threw her down on the bed and ripped off the last piece of clothing between him and complete satisfaction. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he finally gave her what they both were begging for. He loved every scream and moan that passed her lips. It just made him want her so much more. Sweat built up on their bodies as they shook from pure pleasure.

It had been so long since they had been intimate with anyone. Not since each other. They had both thrown themselves into their careers after the break up. They couldn't bring themselves to date or see anyone else afterwards. It didn't feel right. A part of them knew they were meant to be together even if it didn't work the first time. They were like magnets being drawn towards one another.

When they finally finished Dearka held Miriallia in his arms. He missed her more than he ever realised he had. He kissed her tenderly on the head "That was a-"

"Amazing" She finished as she rolled on her stomach to look at the man who had just pleasured her. She traced her finger around his muscles. "I don't remember it being quite like that before"

"Desperation will do that" He looked at her perfect naked form in his arms. He rubbed her back lightly with his hand. "I missed you"

She looked at him sadly "Dearka… I missed you too. But you know we can't do this again. We broke up for a reason"

"And what was that exactly? Because we weren't ready? You've moved past Tolle. I'm over the fact that I have feelings for a natural. You're everything I could ever want. What else is there for problems"

"For one BLUE COSMOS. A natural and a coordinator publicly dating may raise a red flag to them"

"After tomorrow mission they could be a thing of the past"

"Then geography. I could never live here in the PLANTs nor could I ask you to leave them for me."

"Then we will create a new home for us to live together"

She laughed at his wishful thinking "You would build a new colony to be with me"

"I would build a cluster of colonies to be with you." She would have laughed but she could see how serious he was. He sat up and looked down at her. "Miriallia I don't know how to say this. Mostly because I've never said it to anyone before. Please don't think this is because of what we just did but… I love you" Mir looked at him shocked at his confession.

She grabbed the blanket and covered herself as she sat up. She didn't know how to answer. She tucked her hair gently behind her ear. She looked over at the man who had just confessed his love to her. "What if you die"

He looked at her confused "Mir..."

"The last person I said those words to died. What if they are cursed coming out of my mouth"

He smiled at her "Then keep the words to yourself." He pulled her down on top of him. He kissed her on the forehead. "Let get some sleep. We can find Cagalli in the morning. I want to spend every last minute I can with my lady"

"Who says I'm yours?"

"If you don't want to be feel free to leave. But if you want to be back together stay. And when I get back from the mission I'll take you out on a real date. The kind of date you deserved and never got the first time." Mir thought for a second before cuddling in. He wrapped them both up in the blanket. "Goodnight Mir"

"Night Dearka"

The morning came fast... too fast. Soon Dearka would be leaving. He had woken up early that morning. Leaving Miriallia in bed as he dressed. He gathered up her clothes that were all over the room and took them to be cleaned.

When he returned he watched her sleeping for a few minutes. She was so calm. The blankets had mostly fallen off her body. He still couldn't believe she was here in his bed. He had wanted her the moment he lost her. It seemed the old saying was true: You never know what you have until it's gone.

He knew now more than ever before they belonged together. He had already finished going over the details of the mission. Mir wasn't awake yet so he found himself working on something else. He had started drawing out plans for a new colony.

It was just something he had said the night before. He was desperate for her, to have her as his again. Now he couldn't help but think what a great idea it was. A colony that was mutually owned by the three councils. It would be their meeting grounds and governed by both a natural and a coordinator together. A place they could live in true harmony.

It would be a place he and Mir could live together without giving up their careers. He could still be a soldier of ZAFT. She could still travel and photograph anything she desired. A place where their relationship could grow.

He smiled to himself. He was surprised how fast his plans for it were coming together. "You look like you're enjoying yourself" he heard a groggy voice say before yawning.

"Morning sleepyhead" he closed his laptop and walked over to the girl in his bed. He laid down beside her a pulled her in close.

"What were you concentrating on so hard?"

"I was going over the details of the mission" he lied. He didn't want to tell her that he was working on plans for a colony.

"You shouldn't have let me sleep in so late. You'll be leaving soon. We don't have much time left together."

"Maybe not right now. But when I come back we'll spend time together. Don't forget I did promise you a real date." he said as he leaned in a kissed her deeply. He rolled the very naked girl on her back exploring her body with his hands while his tongue did the same in her mouth. She broke the kiss and looked him in the eyes.

"I love you" she finally said with tears at the corner of her eyes. "Don't break your promise"

He kissed her quickly and replied "I love you too… and I won't." He brushed her hair away from her face. "I wished we had reconciled back when the treaty was being signed, not last night. But… I believe everything happens for a reason. If it is our destiny to be together life will always find away to make it happen."

"And if we're not?"

"Then lets enjoy what time we have left together before this all goes up in flames" suddenly she wanted him more than she did the night before. The night before she was proud of him and she missed him. Today maybe it was the new uniform, or the fact that it felt so good to be back together, or maybe it was because the thought of him leaving hurt so much. She kissed him deeply and began pawing at his uniform. She wanted it off. She wanted him.

They were so desperate for each other. Dearka fumbled with the belt on his jacket while trying to kick off his boots. Neither were coming off fast enough for him. He decided to take a break from getting undressed to instead ravish the girl who was now laying underneath him. He kissed her from her lips to her neck, down her breast. She moaned in delight as he moved down further.

"De-Dearka" She cried out. He smiled devilishly, He enjoyed watching her squirm like this. He gently pulled her legs apart and kissed her inner thighs before heading for the real area he wished to pleasure. But before he could he heard the beep of his intercom before a voice filled the room.

"Captain Elsman Sir. It is time to head to the VOLTAIRE"

"Dammit" Dearka said under his breath as he reached for the button to respond. "Thank you Lunamaria. I'll be out in a couple of minutes" He released his finger from the button and looked down and his beautiful girl. "Looks like we'll have to finish this when I get back" He laughed.

"I guess so" She smiled and kissed him quickly on the lips. He handed her her freshly clean clothes and walked over to his dresser. He picked up the crinkled picture of them and put it in his pocket. He then walked over to the mirror and fixed his uniform. "You look like a true Captain" Mir said as she approached him. She fixed her uniform up a bit and they headed for the door. "Do you want me to wait in here until you leave?"

"No. You and the rest of the ARCHANGEL are expected to see me off. You would know that had you gotten out of bed" He joked. She playfully hit him in the arm in response.

Dearka opened the door and was greeted by two red elite soldiers, Lunamaria and Shinn. He walked out as the all saluted one another. "Shall we get going Sir?" Luna asked.

The two soldiers looked at Dearka with shock when Miriallia emerged from the room. They could tell from her still messed hair that she had spent the night. They didn't know what to say. They were confused and speechless. This girl was an Orb soldier, a natural. What was she doing in their new Captain's bedroom?

"I guess if it's time I have no choice now do I" He could tell they were looking at him and Mir funny. He looked over at her. Seeing her hair was out of place he fixed it. Then he brought his hand down to hers and interlaced their fingers. A blush crossed her cheeks. He began to walk forward still holding her hand. "Let's get going then shall we"

The two soldiers walked closely behind the couple. Still confused about what was going on. They were happy to see they weren't the only confused ones. Everyone they greeted seemed to have the same look on their face they knew they also had. Finally they made it to the hanger. Dearka turned to Mir and kissed her in front of his two subordinates.

"I love you Miriallia" he laughed at the tears at the corners of her eyes. He gently wiped them away. "What's with the tears. I will keep my promise. You have nothing to worry about. Please keep your eyes dry for me."

She smiled at him "You're such a jerk." She laughed "stay safe" she kiss him "I love you" They embraced in a tight hug before Miriallia walked off to find the rest of her crew. He held her hand as long as he could. Until the tips of her fingers brushed off his.

Dearka looked at the two standing behind him. He motioned with his head for them to follow. They walked in the hangar and were greeted by many soldiers. Representatives from all three councils were there as well. It was time... Time for him to make his first command as Captain. He walked in front of the soldiers selected to fight with him. He turned to face them with Luna and Shinn standing on either side of him.

"Today we embark on an important mission. Operation Freeing Humanity is beginning. And the first step is up to us. BLUE COSMOS has terrorized us for too long. It is time we freed humanity from their tyranny. Tomorrow morning we land on Earth to investigate suspicious activity said to be this terrible organization. Together we will make our way there and strike them before they have a chance to strike us" Dearka looked over at Miriallia before looking back at his team. "Let's go get them. For the unity of humanity"

"FOR THE UNITY OF HUMANITY"

Dearka took one last look at Mir before boarding the VOLTAIRE. She felt a strange twinge in her heart. It was the same twinge she felt when Tolle ran off into the last battle he ever fought. She was filled with a bad feeling. She shook her head of the thought. This was a standard mission. Some untrained BLUE COSMOS supporters were starting to organize once again. With no financial backing since LOGOS was defeated they couldn't arm themselves with mobile suits anymore.

This mission was to enforce the laws set by the peace treaty. No organization could exist that wished to eliminate an entire race. Dearka and the others only had their mobile suits to show authority. In a couple weeks he would return, victory in hand. At least that's what she made herself believe.


	3. Chapter II: Learning How To Fight

**Chapter II: Learning How To Fight  
*** March 1st - 74 CE *****

It seemed strange to walk around a ZAFT military base. She, along with the rest of the crew of the ARCHANGEL were guest of the PLANTs Supreme Council. Most of the crew remained on the ship however the bridge crew were given rooms on the base itself.

Miriallia wandered around the base aimlessly. Mostly everyone was already asleep but she couldn't. The previous night she had terrible nightmares. She dreamt of people screaming in terror and in pain. They were trapped. They were yelling for someone to save them. Just before she could see their faces she woke up. She was drenched in a cold sweat.

She tried going to sleep tonight but couldn't. As soon as she shut her eyes the nightmares started. Being alone in her room felt like the worst thing in the world so she decided to go for a walk. As she walked around she briefly spoke with various ZAFT soldiers. Some even seemed to flirt with her. She just smiled and laughed. It felt good to be noticed. But she was with Dearka's now. She wanted to be his and his alone. She couldn't wait for him to come home. She wasn't sure how it was going to work out between them but she was excited for all the possibilities that lied ahead.

She started to make her way back to her room. It had been a few hours. Maybe she was tired enough to sleep now. At least she hoped. She passed by many of the bedrooms when suddenly a door whooshed open. A young girl seemed to be trying to sneak out but failing miserably as she realized Mir was standing right there.

"Ca-Cagalli?" She asked confused.

"Miriallia!" She gasped

"Looks like I caught you red handed" she joked. "Is that Athrun's room"

"Yes..." She said as her face turned a bright crimson as she looked away. "But it's not what you think. We were just talking. I'm surprised he is even willing to do that with me after what I did"

"Don't be crazy Cagalli. He loved you once. Those feelings don't just go away."

"Even if they don't the betrayal may be stronger."

"You know Dearka told me if you are meant to be with someone life has a way of making it happen. You just need to give it time"

"So you two are really back together? I heard rumours, but I wasn't sure if there was any truth in it."

"Yes, it's recent… as recent as yesterday actually." she said nervously.

"Are you sure you should be back with him? After all the reasons you broke up, it's not like those just disappeared"

"If I've learned anything from being in the military it's that you only live once. You can either play it safe hoping never to get hurt or throw yourself in head first. Last time we dated I didn't want to feel anything and neither did he. I wasn't ready, not after losing Tolle. But this time I want to feel everything. Every bit of happiness and pain. Because for the first time I realized how much I really do love him. I want to be with him, all or nothing. I know I'd be lost without him."

"You miss him already don't you" she asked sadly.

Mir smiled and nodded "That's what happens when you love someone. Being apart from them hurts. You almost miss them before they are ever gone. But you already know that don't you. You've been having those same feelings about Athrun"

"Whether I miss him or not it doesn't change things. I can't just erase the mistakes I made. I aligned Orb with the Earth Alliance during the war. I almost married another man. How can I ask him to forgive me after that. Where would I even start?"

"You start by saying you're sorry, love will take care of the rest." She said with confidence.

"Miri-" She started before a voice came screaming down the hall.

"Lady Cagalli!" It was Kisaka, Cagalli's right hand man.

"Kisaka? What's going on?" She could see the concern on his face.

"I don't know all the details but the scouting team has returned" The way he said it the two girl knew this was not good news.

"The mission was suppose to last over a week. They haven't even been gone a full two days. Why are they back already?"

"We don't know...but" he paused for a moment he looked a Mir for a few seconds before looking back at Cagalli. "you should know… Only two members have returned" Miriallia felt knots in her stomach. They sent out fifteen soldiers on the mission, yet only two returned. Nothing felt right about this. "They've called a meeting for the three councils immediately. They also wish the crews of the ARCHANGEL and the VOLTAIRE to attend."

"We all should get going. They are probably waiting for us" said a voice behind them. They looked and saw Athrun had emerged from his room. "It 2300 hours. They would never call a meeting at this time unless it was something of great importance." They all nodded in agreeance before heading off to the meeting room.

Her heart was racing as she sat down at the large table. The council room had been redesigned to hold more representatives. The room now contained three levels of tables. At the top there were three chairs. Here sat the leader of the Earth Alliance Nicholas Evans, the leader of the PLANTs Supreme Council Lacus Clyne, and finally the head representative of Orb Cagalli Yula Athha. The various representative of the three councils sat in the mid level. The last and final level was at ground level. It was here that the crews of the ARCHANGEL and the VOLTAIRE were seated.

Mir looked across the table. Her eyes met with the icy eyes of a very familiar commander. Yzak Joule had a very serious look on his face as usual. But she could see something else as well. He looked worried. Dearka was his best friend and right now his fate was uncertain. She knew he felt the same as her. He was hoping with every fiber of his being that Dearka would soon walk through those doors.

Lacus stood up and spoke. "Please bring in the Elsman Team" They all waited patiently as two soldiers walked in. They didn't see their faces at first only their uniforms. It seemed like they were walking in slow motion as they entered. Maybe it was because her heart was pounding out of her chest. She wanted to cry or run, but she couldn't. She couldn't moved. She looked up at the two soldiers, the two soldiers dressed in red.

"Lunamaria Hawke and Shinn Asuka. You have returned from your mission not only much a head of schedule but without the rest of your team. Please explain to the representatives and soldiers gathered in this place the events that lead to you being here before us" Nicholas requested. Everyone could see how scared and confused they were. They remained silent for a few minutes as they tried to find the words to explain what had happened. The truth was they didn't really understand it themselves.

"Please Luna and Shinn, this is not an interrogation. We just want to understand what happened." Lacus tried to assure them.

Finally Luna found the words to start explaining "On the morning of February 28th, 74 C.E. we embarked on Operation Freeing Humanity. We left on the VOLTAIRE where we were brought close to Earth's atmosphere. At 0600 hours this morning we, along with the rest of our crew descended to Earth to begin the mission. That's when it happened"

"What happened?" Cagalli asked automatically.

"It was quiet when we arrived." Shinn stated "We thought the Captain had gotten the coordinates wrong. There were no signs that anyone had ever been there never mind anything suspicious. I was angry and ready to question his authority when… they attacked. They came out of nowhere. Within minutes the only ones remaining were us and the Captain."

"They surrounded him." Luna said half in a panic as she remembered the events from earlier that day. "He held them off the best he could but soon… soon he knew he too would fall. That's when he gave the order for us to return to the PLANTs. He told us that we needed to report back on the details of what happened. What truly happened."

"What do you mean Luna?" Cagalli asked.

"They weren't killing them… they were collecting them" She stated.

 ***** Flashback - Early That Morning*****

Dearka sat in the cockpit of his ZGMF-1001/M BLAZE ZAKU PHANTOM. He was checking to make sure it was ready for decent. It would be the last time he would pilot a mobile suit. After this mission he would be given his own ship to be a Captain of. This was like a test. A test of his leadership skills. One he hoped to pass.

"You sure you're ready for this?" Asked Yzak over the communicator.

"As ready as I'll ever be" He said in a cocky tone. "Listen Yzak I need you to do me a favor." he asked seriously.

"What is it Elsman?" he replied half irritated.

"Take care of Miriallia while I'm gone. She's in the PLANTs right now. I think she's worried about me going on this mission. Just promise me please"

"I'm not looking after your little sex toy"

"YZAK!" He yelled "That's not what this is. Not this time at least… I-I love her" He admitted to his friend "I need to know that you'll make sure she's ok while I'm gone"

"You act like you're not coming back." He said concerned.

"You know as much as I do something doesn't seem right about this. An anonymous tip that there was signs of BLUE COSMOS on some random island. There is nothing near there for thousands of miles. How could someone just fall upon something like that."

"Do you think it's a trap?"

"I don't know. But if I don't make it back… make sure Miriallia moves on. Don't let it destroy her."

"Don't talk like that. You're Dearka Elsman. You're not going to die on your second day as Captain."

Dearka looked up at the clock. "Looks like it's time to get this show on the road." Yzak nodded as Dearka readied his machine. "Dearka Elsman, BLAZE ZAKU PHANTOM launching"

Shinn and Lunamaria follow suit launching their machines as well. Twelve green uniformed soldiers were accompanying them. Since their mobile suits could handle reentry on their own like their three superior officers they would be going in transporter shuttles. Four mobile suits per shuttle. Each of the three shuttles were guided down to Earth by Dearka, Luna, and Shinn.

Reentry seemed to be a breeze. They made it to the island in within a few hours. Dearka scooped out the island quickly. No heat signatures could be found. The island was deserted. There was no life there nor did it look like there ever was. It was quiet, eerily quiet. He had a bad feeling. Something wasn't right just like he thought. He was about to contact the VOLTAIRE when it all started.

First they lost the signal of one of their lower ranking officers. It came out of nowhere. "What the hell?" Dearka yelled. Suddenly his screen lite up like a Christmas tree. There must have been 30 - 40 mobile suits. They we like nothing they had ever seen. They began to attack another soldier. That when they saw it. The enemy sliced the arms, legs and head quickly off the ZAFT suit before grabbing the cockpit and taking off towards the island. "Dammit! What are they?!"

The began trying to fight them off, but there were too many of them. The soldiers sent with Dearka were mostly low ranking. They didn't have the training to handle fighting on the front lines. Soon it was just Dearka, Shinn and Lunamaria. They destroyed as many enemies as they could but at this rate they were going to run out of power and be captured before they could win. Dearka knew what he had to do.

"I'm sorry Miriallia... " he thought. He blasted his long range gun towards his two remaining subordinates destroying the mobile suits attacking them. "LUNAMARIA! SHINN! Get out of here now!"

"Captain?" Luna said questioningly. She watched as Dearka began to be swammed by the 'snatchers'.

"You have to leave! Head back to the PLANTs now!"

"Are you crazy! We need to keep fight" Shinn replied definitely.

"No! This is a direct order. Go back now!"

"We are not just going to leave you here to die" Luna said tears building up in her eyes.

"Reporting to the Three Councils is more important now. If we all die here then they won't know the true threat these people pose. Now leave!" He said firing another blast towards them.

They knew he was right. "YES CAPTAIN" They both replied. They head off as fast as the could. Soon they heard an explosion and lost their Captain's signal. They looked back just in time to see his cockpit being carried off.

"There was nothing we could do Luna. We just need to refuel and get back to the PLANTs"

 ***** Flashback - Early That Morning*****

"We've been referring to them as 'snatchers'" Shinn said "They came in so fast. They took out one of our mobile suit before we ever knew they were there. They attacked in a large group. They seemed well trained. We were quickly outnumbered. We weren't prepared for anything like that."

"These mobile suit chopped of the legs, arms and head of the suit before making off with the cockpits. They headed off to the island we were sent to investigate. Soon it was just the three of us. The Captain knew we weren't going to win." Luna said. They could tell the images of what happened were haunting her "We didn't want to go. We wanted to stay and fight. But Captain Elsman ordered us to return."

"BLUE COSMOS is a bigger threat they we originally believed. We thought they didn't have mobile suits, but turns out not only did they have some but they were new state of the art machines."

Mir felt like she was going to be sick. She didn't know if Dearka was dead or alive. All she knew was that he was captured. He was a coordinator captured by a group that hated coordinators. She was more worried about him now than she ever was before. She looked up at Yzak. She could see how angry he was. His fists were in tight balls. They both wanted to do something… anything about this.

"Shinn, Lunamaria. Do you believe that they are still alive" Lacus asked softly.

The two looked at each other for a few second before Luna answered "If they wanted them dead they would have killed them right away instead of going to the trouble of capturing them. I'm willing to stake my honor as a soldier that they… at least some of them are still alive"

"Then we need to assemble a team to go to the island and search for them." Cagalli insisted. "We'll need to appoint a leader for the search them"

This was her chance. She needed to know. Her heart couldn't take the pain. She stood up and yelled "I VOLUNTEER!" but her voice echoed. She looked across the table to see Yzak was also standing. He had yelled at the sametime as her. They were locked in a staring contest until Yzak finally broke eye contact and spoke in a disgusted tone.

"Are you kidding me! You're an Ensign, not only that you're the ARCHANGEL's CIC! You're not even trained in any form of combat. You're not qualified to take on a mission like this!"

"And what about you!" she snapped back "This is probably just what they want. A hot head like you rushing in. They are BLUE COSMOS, dedicated to eliminating coordinators. What exactly do you think will happen if you go storming in with more prey for them"

"The soldiers Dearka had with him we not trained to handle that kind of situation. They didn't know what was waiting for them. I will lead a team that is better equipped to handle the situation"

"And if you're captured who will save you?"

"You little bit-"

"That's enough!" Nicholas snapped. He and the other two leaders had continued to discuss the situation during Mir and Yzak's fight. They had come to a decision.

"Commander Joule" Lacus began "Although we appreciate and understand why you are volunteering, we can't allow you to go to Earth. Ensign Haww is right. This could be a trap to lure more ZAFT soldiers out into the open." Yzak was angry at the decision. He wanted to yell but instead took a deep calming breath and nodded.

"Ensign Haww, unfortunately Commander Joule is right as well. Being just an Ensign you can't lead a team to Earth" Cagalli stated. "Which is why from this day forward you will be known as Commander Miriallia Haww of Orb" Everyone gasped in shock. Mir couldn't believe what was happening. "You will lead a team to the island on a search and rescue mission."

"You will bring back any survivors of the Elsman team and bodies of the fallen." Lacus added. "When the mission is over you will rondevu with the VOLTAIRE and report back to Commander Joule."

"When you return together you will take over Operation Freeing Humanity. There is no telling if Captain Elsman is capable of completing the mission or even alive to do so." Nicholas said.

The rest of the meeting was spent discussing the details of the rescue mission. Mir team was assembled quickly. The ARCHANGEL as well as a ship from the Earth Alliance would be sent to the island. No coordinators were permitted to go. It Athrun and Kira were disappointed. They wanted to go try and help their friend but they knew it was the best decision.

Mir walked out of the meeting. She was in a daze. She couldn't believe what had happened. Dearka was in trouble. She needed to get to him soon. There was no telling what would happen to him in the time it would take them to get to him.

"Haww! Wait up" she heard Yzak yell from down the hall. She didn't want to deal with him. She didn't have the will nor the strength to get in an argument with him again. She just kept walking until she felt him grab her arm a push her against the wall. "What the hell are you thinking! Do you even know how to fight? What if you get hurt or worst?"

"Who cares if I get hurt! I need to find Dearka. I need to know he is ok"

"He would never forgive me if I let you get hurt" he said as he released her from his grip. "The shooting range and training rooms are on the basement level" Mir looked at him confused. "Let's get going. You are my partner in this Operation. I'm not going to let you die because you can't handle yourself in hand to hand combat"

"What makes you think I can't?"

"Just shut up and follow"

They walked towards the elevator. Once inside Yzak pushed the button to go down. She didn't understand why he was doing this. He had always hated her. From the moment they met. He called her so many horrible names. He was angry that his friend was involved with a natural. He never would call her by her first name. He didn't want to get personal with her.

When the elevator reached the bottom floor they headed to the gun range. It was now two in the morning. The place was deserted. He set up three targets shaped like upper bodies. He handed her earring and eye protection. She put them on and he do so as well. He then handed her a loaded gun. He showed her the proper stance. "There. Now look down at the targets. Pinpoint exactly where you want to shoot and then pull the trigger. It's as simple as that. Now show me what you got"

Mir looked down at the targets. She was exhausted. She hadn't slept yet. She was sad and angry. The emotions were building up like crazy. She put her finger on the trigger and pulled it three time hitting each of the targets. "There happy. Can I go now?"

"Are you insane! You almost missed. Hitting an enemy in the arm is not going to save your life."

"I don't want to kill people"

"It's killed or be killed Haww. The moment you go soft is the moment you lose your life."

"I don't plan on dying. I will find the missing soldiers. I will bring them home if it's the last thing I do. I'm not some incompetent soldier like you seem to think I am"

"Then prove it" She turned and fired the gun three more times. Each bullet went straight through the hearts. He smiled a very pleased smile.

"Very good. Now reload. Next is moving targets" Mir looked at him angry. She just wanted to get some sleep so she could leave on the mission. But she decided to listen he was right afterall. She opened the handgun and began to reload it.

"Yzak?" They both looked back at the door. There stood a very worried looking ZAFT soldier.

"Shiho what are you doing here"

"I… I was hoping we could talk about Dearka"

"I don't have time for that" he snapped "I need to make sure Haww is ready for her mission tomorrow. After we are done here we will be heading down to the training room to test her martial arts skills. She needs to know how to fight"

"You can't just pretend this didn't happen Yzak. Dearka is gon-"

"I said I don't have time!" He yelled angrily. "We will talk in the morning just leave already" She looked at him in shock. He had never spoke to her like that before. She could see how hurt he was. She decided maybe it was best she leave him alone.

"Fine Commander. I'll be… around if you need me" She said sadly before walking away. She closed the door behind her. As she turned they could see tears rushing down her cheeks.

"You should have done that" Mir said softly as she continued to load her gun.

"And what the hell do you know"

"When it comes to love and war you may know war, but I know love" she replied.

"What does love have to do with it"

"You love each other. You just don't want to admit it. She is your subordinate. She could never make the first move. And you are her commander. Which means you never will. But you have the opportunity to change that. You still need to pick the members of your team. Leave her out of it. Give love a chance"

"I need her on my team. I would never have anyone else beside me!"

"Why? Because she is the best soldier or because you can't imagine a day without her by your side"

"What the hell do you know?!"

"More then you think." She answered as she turned and held the gun towards the moving targets. "You know I was a war photographer for the past two years. I travel the world taking pictures of the scenes the war left behind. During that time I learned a few things. Taking the perfect picture is simple really. You need to focus on your breathing. You need a steady hand. And finally when you see the perfect shot you need to take it" She fired one bullet at the very moment the three targets lined up. Hitting all three straight through the head with a single shot.

Yzak looked at her shocked. There was no way she was improving this fast. "Where did you learn to shoot"

"Despite what you thought of mine and Dearka's relationship it wasn't all about sex. He worried about me being out on those battlefields, so he taught me to shot. I'm not some innocent girl who needs protecting… not anymore. That girl died a long time ago when she learned what war really was like."

"So you think because you know how to shoot you suddenly know everything"

"No. But I know you care about her. Dearka told be so"

"That bast-"

"Go for it" She interrupted. "Learn to fight for what you want. If you want her go after her. Dearka wanted me, and he didn't fight for it. I dumped him and we spent two years apart wishing we fought harder for our love. Now only two days after finally finding each other again he's gone and it's up to me to fight to get him back."

"What make you think she wants me"

"Because she is the only soldier who saw how much you were hurting right now. I'm fine Yzak. I know how to fight. I can defend myself when necessary. Go after her. Before you regret pushing her away"

He looked at the girl. He could tell she was in so much emotional pain. It saddened him to see the girl like this. "It Commander Joule to you." he scoffed "Are you sure she likes me" he asked blushing slightly.

"More sure than anything in my life. Go talk to her. You never know where it might lead you." She said winking at the young commander.

"Get some rest. You leave in a few hours"

"Right. Good luck Commander Joule" She said saluting him. She watched as the young man left the room. She was scared. Tomorrow she would be searching for Dearka's team. There was no telling what she would be walking into. "Dearka… please just hang in there a little longer. It's my turn to save you" she thought.


	4. Chapter III: Finding the Truth

**Chapter III: Finding the Truth  
*** March 2nd, 74 CE *****

The next morning couldn't come any faster. They quickly loaded up the ARCHANGEL and headed towards Earth. Reentry seemed to take forever when in truth it went very well. Mir wanted to get there was fast as possible. She knew the longer it took them the less chance they would find them alive. She shook her head of the thought. Dearka was alive she could feel it.

Soon they arrived on the island. Mir order the mobile suit to launch and scout out the area. For the next hour they searched the surrounding area for any signs of an enemy.

"It doesn't look like BLUE COSMOS is in the area anymore" Commander La Flaga announced through the communicator.

"Then it's safe for us to search on foot?" Miriallia questioned.

"Yes. But the scouting team will remain in our suits if that's alright with you Commander Haww. If they can come in as fast as those kids said we need to stay ready"

"Sounds good to me." Mir and a select team of trusted soldier headed landed on the island. Cagalli sent her trusted guard and friend Kisaka to stay by Mir's side. She was worried about her friend. She couldn't imagine the pain she was in right now.

The island was littered with the parts of fallen mobile suit. The walked through the wreckage looking for some signs of the missing soldiers. "OVER HERE!" They heard someone call. Miriallia started running. There on the edge of the beach was the head of the Dearka's gundam. About thirty feet away from it was a cockpit. She ran towards it as fast as she could before starting to climb.

"Commander Haww stop!" Kisaka yelled worried about what the girl would see. But it was too late. She was already inside the cockpit.

She could tell it had been forced open. The seat belt had been cut. She noticed a stain of the back of the seat and something shining. She reached in and pulled out a bullet. Her finger tips were stained with the still damp blood. Whoever's cockpit this was they were taken out by force. She turned to give her finding to the crew on the island when something else caught her eye. It was an old crinkled up photo. The same photo Dearka had on his dresser. His good luck charm. This was the cockpit of the BLAZE ZAKU PHANTOM.

She jumped out of the cockpit and into the sand of the beach. "What did you find?"

Mir opened her hand to show him the bullet "They shot him. He's injured. If the wound is bad enough her could already be-"

"Don't think about that. There is still a good chance he is alive somewhere on this island. We need to keep searching" Kisaka said trying to reassure her.

They walked around the cockpit. Soon they found foot prints leading towards the center of the island. The team followed the trail until they spotted someone. They were injured on the ground. They were only in short and a t-shirt. The same set worn by ZAFT soldiers under their flight suits. Mir was the first to notice the bullet wound in his shoulder. "Get the medical team now!" She ordered before running towards the soldier. Kisaka followed close behind.

He rolled the soldier on his back. He grunted in pain before opening his eyes "Orb?" He said weakly.

"Shhh… It's okay you're safe now." She tried to reassure him. He looked so scared and weak. He had lost a lot of blood. They needed to get him help soon or else he wasn't going to make it.

"The Captain..."

"Huh?"

"W-we couldn't sav-." he managed to say before losing consciousness.

"What... what about the Captain" She yelled in a panic. Kisaka leaned down and checked for a pulse. He looked back at Mir sadly and shook his head. The soldier died. There was thirteen soldier missing. They just failed to save one. She looked over at one of her subordinates. "Take his body back to the ship. We will take him home for a proper burial." She stood up. She could see a trail of blood leading from deeper on the island. That was the way. The way to the others, she was sure of it. "Have the medical team assemble, chances are the rest of the soldiers are injured as well."

They made their way following the trail of blood. Eventually they came to a clearing. There they found twelve cockpits. They were line up 2x6. There was about 30 to 40 feet in between the two rows. Through the clearing they could see a cave. Before entering the cave the checked each cockpit. All were the same as Dearka. Seat belts cut and signs of being shot. These soldiers were all injured. For over 24 hours they had been suffering without medical attention. It wasn't looking good. Mir took her camera and began taking photos of the wreckage. She chose to catalog the tragedy for future reference when they would finally have the BLUE COSMOS members on trial.

Finding no one in the remains of the mobile suits they entered the caves. They were horrified by what they saw. Blood stains covered the floor of the caves. In the middle of the area was chains hanging from the ceiling and another set of the floor. Blood drops surrounded the area where the chains were. The cave had a strange smell they couldn't quite put their fingers on. The looked around and that when they saw them. The missing soldiers against one wall in their ZAFT issued shorts and shirts.

"Check for survivors" She ordered. Her soldiers began check for signs of life. Those who had passed already were moved out of the cave. She took pictures of the various blood stains and the chains. Thirteen soldiers went missing on the mission. Seven were confirmed dead. Three in critical condition. Two were only had their bullet wounds which seemed be be just grazes but were still unconscious. And one remained missing. "Where is Dearka?" She questioned under her breath. Noticing another area of the cave she walked over to examine it.

When she entered she walked to the center of the area. Her eyes opened wide in shock. Written on the wall of the cave in what appeared to be blood was:

 _For Our Blue and Pure World_

There was no doubt in her mind now. This was the work of BLUE COSMOS. She began to back up in horror. She wasn't prepared for this. As she backed up she felt something strange at the back of her heel. She turned to look and screamed. She had stepped into a pile of ashes. In the ashes she could see the fragmented remains of a skull and peaking out through and set of ZAFT issued dog tags.

She couldn't breath. It felt like a thousand bricks were being placed on her chest "It can't be" She said over and over again. She wanted to cry but the tears wouldn't come. She was horrified. Dearka was the only soldier they didn't find. The only one left.

"Commander Haww! Are you alright?" Kisaka asked.

"Please have them take samples of all the blood found in the caves" She said in a monotoned voice. "From the looks of those soldier they put up a fight. Maybe some of the blood is from the enemy. Make sure you get a sample of that blood as well" she said pointing to the wall without looking. "And… Collect and test this pile of ashes as well. They appear to be someone's remains. We need to confirm the possible identity of this soldier." She handed him her camera. "Make sure to catalog the evidence in this room as well."

"Miss Haww" He said concerned.

She looked him in the eye "I need some fresh air. Please instruct everyone as I've asked"

Mir walked out of the cave and toward the beach. Everywhere there was soldiers collecting the remains of the mobile suits, bring the injured and dead to the ship and taking samples of blood. She ignored it all making her way to the water. She looked down at her reflection. She could see all hope had left her face. No smiles were left. She she had no doubts about what she saw. He was gone.

She sat alone on the rocks compiling a report on what happened. She would be presenting it to Yzak when they randevu with his ship tomorrow. She wrote out all her findings updating the statuses of the various soldiers from the mission.

"Miriallia?" Commander La Flaga said sadly. "The test results are back from the samples found in the inner cave."

"And?" She asked without looking up.

He could sense the coldness in her voice. She already knew what he was going to say. "We weren't able to confirm the identity of the bone fragments found. Judging by the amount of ashes there and the size of the skull fragments they determined it was an adult male. But… We have a pretty clear idea of who it is. This was found among the ashes" Mir took a quick look at the tags. They were burned and partly melted but some letters could still be made out. They were his. "The results for the blood on the wall came back as well. Judging by the amount without medical attention the soldier would have bled out in hours. We would have never made it in time. I'm sorry Miriallia given all the evidence we need to make it official. Dearka Elsman is dead"

"I understand" She looked out at the water. The sun was setting over the ocean. She had always loved the sunset. Now it was forever ruined for her. It now was the symbol for the saddest moment of her life. The moment she realized another man she loved died a horrible death. "Have the ARCHANGEL prepare to leave. We can reach Carpentaria in a few hours and randevu with the VOLTAIRE by morning"

"Mir you need to talk to someone about this" She closed her laptop and stood up.

"I'm fine Mwu" She replied "I knew this was a possibility when we set sail. He's gone nobody can change that."

"Your camera" he tried to hand it back to her but she refused.

"Put it with the rest of the evidence. I don't need it anymore" She replied before walking off. He watched her worried. She was in more pain then he could imagine. She was cold like a stone. All emotions wiped away. Dearka was the person who helped her get past the death of her first love. Now so soon after admitting her love for him he too was gone.

The next morning they met with the VOLTAIRE no one there knew anything of the true fate of the Elsman team. Mir walked down the halls of the battleship until she came to the Commander Office door. She pressed the button of the communicator.

"Commander Joule… It's Commander Haww. I have the report on the rescue mission" She sound so distant. It wasn't the usual voice he had gotten use to.

"Come in" He said pressing the button for the door to open. She walked in and saw Shiho standing next to him. He had chosen to keep her as his lieutenant.

"Here" she said handing him the report. He opened it and his eyes went wide. She quickly looked through the pictures and the status reports. "Seven soldiers are dead?" he asked he was having trouble controlling his breathing.

"Nine… one of them that had minor injuries committed suicide on the way here. And the Captain is dead as well" She said it so seriously and without emotion. Like he was some nameless soldier to her and not the man she loved.

"He can't be" Yzak said under his breath.

"The evidence is all there at the back of the report. It undeniable. He's gone." She said before turning to leave.

"Where the hell are you going Haww"

"Noah Woods has woken up. He was the other soldier with minor injuries. I'm going to go find out what happened" Yzak jumped up to follow her signalling Shiho to remain on the ship.

"Let someone else do it"

"We are the ones in charge of Operation Freeing Humanity. The first step to completing that mission is finding out what really happened that day. You can stay here if you want but I'm going. I need to know"

"Do you really want to know what happened. He was your lover"

"And he was your best friend. That doesn't change anything. We need to put those feelings aside for the mission. Like you said the moment you go soft is the moment you are killed. Now come on if your coming"

They boarded a shuttle that took them both over to the ARCHANGEL. They walked to the halls and down to the sickbay. There they walked into a room with a single patient inside. He was bruised and battered. His right shoulder was bandage to cover the bullet wound.

"Noah I'm Commander Ha-"

"I know who you are. And I know what you want." He said without looking at her "He's dead. Leave it at that. Believe me your life is better of not knowing what happened that day"

"I don't care if my life would be better. It is my job to know the truth please tell us what happened" The soldier looked over at her, tears in his eyes.

He was silent for a few seconds before finally giving in. "Fine if you really want to know but don't say I didn't warn you." He took a deep breath trying to find the words to explain what happened "The first few hours we were all held against a single wall. We were guarded by five maybe six soldier with guns. We were unarmed and couldn't fight back. Every few hours the guards would switch. It was the Captain that noticed that by the end of the shifts that men would act funny"

"What do you mean funny?" Yzak asked curious.

"They looked weak and like they couldn't breath. He said they were extends. Enhanced naturals made to be able to compete with the skills of coordinators. The Captain began timing the shifts. And after six hours of being trapped we made our move. It was 20 mins before the shift change was suppose to happen. They were at their weakest. We pelted them with rocks and anything we could get our hands on. We killed them all and just before we had a chance to get their guns the next shift came in." They could see he was scared.

"It's ok take your time" Miriallia said kindly.

"They were angry. They held their guns towards us backing us back against the wall. That when they grabbed him. They took the captain and strapped him up in these chains that hung from the ceiling. You could see the pain on his face from just hanging there but that wasn't enough for them. They started to choke him with his own dog tags until his face started to turn blue. He tried to struggle but couldn't… they just laughed."

"They choked him to death?" Yzak asked

"No. The soldier released the tags before that could happen. He just hung there for a while struggling to catch his breath. That's… That's when they took the knife. They cut open his shirt first before..." His voice cracked. They could tell that the memories of that day were playing back in his head as his eye darted around. "They stabbed him in the stomach. They told him that they were going to show everyone what coordinators truly deserve. The Captain held strong. He didn't make a noise when the knife went in. It was all the way in and he was bleeding but still he stayed strong. Until they twisted the knife. He screamed out in pain. It was a horrifying screaming that I still can't get out of my head. They pulled out the knife. The blood rushed down his body and dripped off his leg. They collected it in a bowl underneath him, and he just hung there motionless."

"So that is where they got the blood to write on the wall" Mir said more to herself than anyone else.

"When the bowl was full the wrapped his waist tightly in bandages. They didn't want him to bleed out yet. They wanted us to watch him die a slow death. That is till he pissed them off."

"What did he do?" Yzak demanded. He felt sick. He hated knowing how much his friend had suffered. He was shot, choked and stabbed and in the end his body was burned. He didn't want to know anymore but he needed to.

"He said that not matter what they did to him BLUE COSMOS would come to an end. Naturals and coordinators would someday live together in harmony and even fall in love. The man got so angry he rushed over to the chest of tools they had and pulled out as small chainsaw. He was going to cut off his head for such an insult. We all closed our eyes, we didn't want to see. Captain Elsman just held his head high ready to receive the punishment they had for him. They nearly did too, but someone stopped them just in time."

"Who?" Mir asked eagerly. She hated hearing all this just as much as Yzak, maybe more. She loved him, she wanted his life to be full of happiness but instead his last moments were filled with pain and fear.

"I don't know who he was but they all listened to him without question. He ordered them to release the Captain and immediately they removed him from the chains. I stupidly thought that was it. They were going to just let him lay there and die. But instead they picked him up and brought him to the inner cave. A few minutes passed and we heard a horrible blood curdling scream and then a gun being shot. We didn't know what had happened. Then the smell entered the room. It smelled like meat cooking… but it wasn't it was the Captain's body being burned. Then a smoke bomb was thrown into the room and we all lost consciousness."

"Thank you Noah." Mir said "We will add this information to the report. I will make sure that those who did this are brought to justice" She turned and walked out of the room.

Yzak quickly followed. "Haww! Haww get back here!" He yelled angry. She didn't seem to want to listen to him so he grabbed her by the arm. Mir looked back at him. For a second Dearka's face flashed in her mind. It reminded her of the time Dearka asked her if she was still going to fight or run. She pulled her arm from him.

"What do you want Yzak"

"Are you ok?" he asked concerned.

"What do you care?" she snapped. She could see he was just as hurt as she was. "I'm sorry. I didn't expect to hear what we just did"

"He tried his hardest to save his men. There was nothing he could do. Four soldier out of Thirteen soldiers lived. All will live with the scars from what happen for the rest of their lives. We need to make a promise… as promise that we will avenge what happened"

"No matter how long it takes Commander Yzak Joule, I am you partner in this mission and I will see it through to the end no matter what life throws our way" she said shaking his hand. A deal was struck. They were forever bonded by the loss of someone dear to them.

They arrived back at the PLANTs later that day. She and Yzak gave their report to the three councils. Yzak chose to do all the talking. He didn't know if Mir could handle it. She had yet to cry over Dearka's death and he worried she would soon break. The council was horrified at the news. They order the pair to continue pursuit of BLUE COSMOS for as long as it took. Any resources needed would be at their disposal. The organization was a treat to both the treaty and the peace itself.

After the meeting they were given a box to go collect Dearka's personal belongings. Shiho joined the two worried about them both. They entered his room together in silence. Mir walked over to the bed. It was still as mess from their night together. She sat on the bed and hugged his pillow. It smelled just like him. Yzak sat down at the desk and opened Dearka's laptop to wipe the files before packing it away.

"What the hell is this?" Mir got up of the bed and walked over. Her and Shiho looked over the young man shoulder to see what he was looking at.

"I don't believe it, he was really going to build a colony just to be with me."

Yzak looked at her funny then back the computer. They were plans and specs for a new colony that would be publicly inhabited by both naturals and coordinators. A meeting ground for the Three Councils. A place they could all live in harmony.

"You need to show this to the Three Councils" Shiho stated "It was his wish for this colony to be built. The least we can do it give it a push" They looked at the plans. She was right. Dearka would never get to see it but he would alway live on as the creator of the colony... the colony he name 'Harmonix'. Yzak closed the laptop and set it aside. He was willing to fight to have this colony built. The last piece of his friend that would be part of this world.


	5. Chapter IV: Life Changing Examination

**Chapter IV: Life Changing Examination  
** ***** Mid June - 74 CE *****

The next few months were filled with meetings and investigations. They were fighting to have Harmonix built. The Council was reluctant at first but soon came around to the idea. The plans were finally finished and construction was underway. It had been over three months since the day Dearka was killed. And since then they were no closer to finding those who did it.

They cataloged all the blood samples found at the scene. It was clear from the blood of the enemy that they were all indeed extends. A chemical was found in the blood that proved that.

From past experience dealing with these types of people they began to wonder if they were volunteers or forced. They had seen it both ways. Judging by the amount of extends there that day they decided to operate under the assumption that they were being forced. This lead to Mir and Yzak looking through the medical records of all the missing persons around the world. It was taking months but BLUE COSMOS had not made anymore moves since that day, so there was nothing else they could really do.

After finishing yet another countries records Yzak decided it was time for a break. "The doctor told me you still haven't gotten your physical done"

"I'm too busy for that kind of nonsense you should know that. Between hunting down BLUE COSMOS and overseeing the plans for Harmonix not to mention planning Dearka's funeral that still hasn't happened I don't have time for a silly examination."

"You are a crew member of the VOLTAIRE for the time being, which Commander or not puts you under my rules. All new members of the ship are required to have a physical."

"I'm fine. I had a physical four months ago. Last I checked I don't need one for another two months."

"That physical was for the ARCHANGEL new ship new examination"

"You're really not going to let this go are you Yzak?"

"How many times do I have to tell you it's Commander Joule. And no I'm not going to let it go."

They were locked staring at each other neither one wanting to give in. "It takes less than half an hour Mir" Shiho finally said from the other side of the room where she was reading a magazine. "In the meantime I can go over some of the records for you so that you don't lose time" Reluctantly Miriallia agreed and left.

Yzak picked up his phone and informed the doctor she was on her way. When he hung up the phone he felt Shiho's hands massaging his shoulders. "You two work too hard sometimes. You need to enjoy life. He wouldn't want this to consume you"

"He told me to look after her. He knew he could die before he ever left. I can't even get her to go to the damn doctor. She still hasn't shed a tear for him. He begged me not to let him dying destroy her but… she's not the annoying natural she use to be."

"Do you really expect her to be. You only saw pictures. She was there. She saw the place where he was torchered. The place he ultimately died. She saw his ashes with her own eyes. His blood on the walls. Imagine what must have been going through her head when they found all the soldiers but him."

"She should have never been there. Cagalli only let her go because they were friends. She should have instead thought about that girls feelings."

Shiho tipped his head up to look in his eyes. "You're worried about her"

"She was a sobbing mess when her first boyfriend died. With Dearka it's like her friends dog died, sad but not enough to cry over."

"You're no different. I've looked at your face everyday since he died." She said caressing his cheek "You've never cried for your friend. You two are drawing of each other's strength. And someday you'll both break. I just hope it's somewhere safe and not out in the battlefield"

Yzak leaped out of his seat and pushed his leintenate against the wall. He held her hands above her head pressing his body tight to hers. She could feel every inch of him "I'm not weak like that. Dearka is gone and there is nothing any of us can do about it."

"Then why are you so mad at me" she asked softly. He kissed her and she quickly returned it. He released her hands and moved them down to her waist. She put her arms around his neck pulling him in closer. Finally he broke apart from her.

"Because you're the only one who sees the pain that I've felt everyday since he died." he whispered.

"Yzak.." That was it. She couldn't take it anymore she wanted him. She removed her belt and jacket tossing them to the floor next she removed her shirt leaving only her bra on her top half. Yzak blushed. She was beautiful. She grabbed his hand and placed it on her breast. "I've wanted you ever since I saw you pilot the DUEL" she admitted.

Suddenly he regretted not taking Mir's advice the few months before. This whole time she could have been his. But instead he chickened out. Now he refused to be weak. He had nothing left to lose. He moved his hand behind her and removed her bra.

He stared at her perky breasts for a moment. This was the first time he had seen a woman naked in person. He looked at her perfect body before diving forward and kissing her deeply. He wanted her so badly. She reached down and undid the belt around his jacket before throwing it to the floor.

Next she removed her boots and the rest of her clothes. She stood there fully naked in front of him. He leaned forward pushing her against the wall. He began kissing her on the neck before getting down on his knees. He began kissing her where she had never been kissed before.

She moaned loudly. His tongue moved with with such grace her knees shook. Just when she thought she couldn't take anymore he stood up and pulled his pants off. He threw off his jacket and shirt pressing his body against hers. He kissed her desperate to be close to her.

She put her arms around his neck hoisting herself up she put her legs around his waist. "Take me" she begged. It was the first time for both of them. Not just with each other but ever. He was nervous but quickly obeyed. He quickly took what he wanted.

It was like nothing he had ever felt before. He enjoyed every second of it every moan she let and every moan that left his lips as well. Shiho ran her fingers up and down his back. Til finally he shook with ecstasy. Slowly he helped her down from the wall.

"Yzak... I..."

"Don't say anything Shiho. I'm an idiot." She smiled and knelt down to pick up her clothes.

"We should do some work. Miriallia will kill us if we don't finish this section of names" they started to dress both still flustered by what had just happened. They finished dressing just in time. The door whooshed open just as Shiho sat down.

"What the hell are you doing back already" Yzak asked angrily.

"They finished" she replied emotionless.

"There is no way they updated you on all your shots already"

"I didn't need them"

"Is that what you told them! Dammit Haww learn to deal with your shit and take care of yourself"

"They told me I couldn't have them now drop it." She looked down at the papers "did you two do anything while I was gone?" She asked before noticing Shiho's ruffed up hair "besides each other" Their faces turned bright red.

"What the hell is your problem!?" He asked angry and embarrassed.

"Do you want to know my problem is Commander Joule?!" She asked with disgust before reaching in her pocket and throwing a copy of her medical examination at him. She never called him commander. He knew it had to be serious. He picked it up and read it. He was shocked.

They were silent for a few seconds before he finally spoke. "Who's the father?" He asked sadly. Shiho couldn't believe what he was asking the girl.

"You know exactly who" she replied unable to look at him.

The room went silent. Nobody knew what to say. She was 19 years old. Hardly old enough to on her own to raise a child. But Dearka, the father, was dead. This baby was the last piece of him left in the world.

"Will you kept it?" He asked.

She placed her hand on her stomach. "We need to get back to work" he wanted to press her further but he knew it was better to say nothing.

A few weeks past and none of them spoke of the events of that day. Yzak and Shiho ignored the love they made. He was still her commander and nothing could change that. As for Miriallia they were afraid to upset her.

They were now in the PLANTs for Dearka's funeral. It was a sad day. They sat down in the front row of the grand cathedral. Mir and Shiho sat on either side of the young commander. He looked over. He could see the slightest bump on Mir's belly. She was starting to show. She wouldn't be able to ignore the pregnancy forever.

The room was silent as they waited for the funeral to start. Hearing the doors open they looked back. A man in cuffs was walking down the long aisle being escorted by four ZAFT soldiers. He had a somber look on his face. They all sat in the front row on the opposite side of Mir and the others. Yzak could tell she was confused "That's Tad Elsman" he explained. "He was arrested at the end of the first war for his radical beliefs. He supported Patrick Zala and now he continues to pay the price for it. This is the first time since the war that he has left prison. His only child's funeral warrants temporary release I guess."

They heard a man clearing his throat at the front of the room. "Today is a sad day for everyone." the priest started "Today we honor the life of Captain Dearka Elsman of ZAFT. Although he died young he lived an eventful life filled by the people he held most dear. He survived two wars fighting for what he believed in..." they listened as the man talked many pretty words about their fallen friend but that's all they were. A rehearsed script of a soldiers funeral. "Now I would like to call upon you, the friends and family to speak a few words about Dearka." Nobody moved until finally his father stood.

He walked up to the podium the ZAFT soldiers following closely behind. He looked out to the crowd gathered to honor his son. "My son was always a very happy child. He loved his mother very much and she loved him. The last time I sat in this room he was beside me. I held his small hand as he listened to many people speaking lovely words about his mother. He cried and I held him tightly in my arms. We lost her when he was only 10 years old. I was left to take care of him. For a long time I made a mess of that. He turned into a man just like me. Hateful and angry, believing all those around him were weaklings." He looked over towards the Orb soldiers in the audience. "But then in the war he was captured by the crew of the ARCHANGEL. The next time I saw my son I was behind bars. He was nothing like I remembered. He told me how he betrayed ZAFT and that he was dating a natural. At first I was angry. I never wanted to see the boy again. But looking at him I saw his mother and the boy she wished she would raise. I had screwed him up but by the end of his life he was a man, a son... I was proud to call mine" Everyone watched as the former counselor shed tears for his son. "I only wish he didn't die like that. I wish he didn't suffer but I know that that wasn't the case. I can only hope he is resting in peace now."

They watched as he descended and sat back down. He was handed tissues as he continued to shed tears for his boy. Next Yzak stood up and walk up to the podium. "Dearka was my best friend. He was the person I would tell everything to whether I wanted to or not. I vowed to always protect him no matter what. I thought I failed at that during the first war and it was a crushing weight I didn't think I could handle. But there was a war going on and I didn't have time to think about it. In the end it turned out he was still alive. From that moment on there was not a single battle that he didn't fight by my side. That is until the day he died. I broke my promise to myself and I let him run off to a battle without me. Everyday since his death it's been hard to breath, hard to see straight. I'm angry and sad but most of all I want revenge. He didn't deserve this. He deserved to die when he was old not at 19 in such a horrible way." Yzak looked down at Shiho before looking back at everyone "Dearka taught me to go for what you want, even if it's something that may be frowned upon. He fell in love with a natural and many including me thought he was crazy. But he wasn't. He was a man who knew what he wanted. That is something I'll always remember him for" He said finishing. He walked down, eyes free from any signs of tears. He was still not ready to break.

For a while nobody moved. They were all sadden by the young Captain's fate. His team had been picked off like flies. Only one member captured that day survived. The others all died from their injuries. It was a tragedy nobody understood. Meaningless killing. "Would anyone else like to share their memories of Captain Elsman" The priest asked. Taking a deep breath Mir stood up. She walked to the front of the room and looked out to the crowd. She looked at the father of the man she loved. He was a tough man brought to tears, so why couldn't she cry for him yet.

"Dearka was my hero, my protector, my friend and the man I loved. In a time I was grieving he was there bringing my smile back. He taught me to fight, and I taught him to relax. We tried to date and failed. I was scared to fall in love and he was uncertain about what to do about his feelings. I'm a natural and he is… was a coordinator. Our love was forbidden and we decided maybe it wasn't worth fighting for. The day before he left on his mission I saw him again for the first time in two years. I couldn't believe I let him go. I made a mistake. I should have fought for every minute I could spend with him but I didn't. I should have held on to him tight but I didn't. I'll never forget the last things he said to me. He told me he loved me and he promised he would come back to me. He never meant to lie, I know that. But it doesn't make it hurt any less. I loved him more than anyone ever in my life. He made me believe in the impossible, believe in things like love again. I'll always remember him for that and..." She paused to collect her thoughts for a moment. "I'll always keep a piece of him with me" She said as she creased her stomach letting everyone in the room know she was with child.

She was about to leave the stage when the room was filled with the sound of static. Mir turned to look at the screen behind her. There on the screen appeared an image of Dearka hanging from the ceiling of the cave. Blood pouring down his side all life draining from his eyes. Everyone gasped in horror. Then the screen cut to a video. Dearka was being forced to his knees. A large fire was next to him. He was covered in blood and bruises.

" _Any last words"_ a voice asked as he pressed a gun to Dearka's head. They couldn't see the man talking. All they could see was his hand hold the gun, a hand with a crescent moon scar.

Dearka smirked his famous smirk " _Kill me. It won't stop them. They will come after you."_

" _They need to find us first!"_

" _Days, weeks, months or years it doesn't matter. They will find you. BLUE COSMOS will end"_

" _It's too bad you won't live to see that day"_ The video cut out. A scream, a blood curdling scream echoed through the room before the sound of a gunshot. The video came back showing a hand burning in the crackling fire with the motto written in blood running down the wall in the background. The screen went black and the sound cut out.

Everyone was horrified by what they saw. Yzak ran up to the stage and put his arm around Miriallia. She turned and looked out in the panicked crowd and saw a man smiling. "It's him... He did this" She whispered to Yzak. "Let me go it was him!" She screamed as she struggled to get away. The man stood up and left. Mir tried to follow but quickly lost him in the crowd.

"Haww stop"

"Did you see him" She asked panicked. "Did you!"

"Haww look at me" He grabbed her face and forced her to look at him "I said look at me! I don't know who you think you saw but we need to get you out of here. If BLUE COSMOS is here you just admitted to being pregnant with a coordinators baby. We need to get you to a safe place now" She reluctantly agreed and fled with him. When they were finally in a safe area he turned towards Mir angry "What the hell were you thinking! Are you really that stupid! What if they track you down and kill you or your baby!"

"They won't have a chance we'll find them first!"

"One problem with that Haww, even with that video we still don't know who or where they are. But they know us. We need to keep investigating them."

"That man had to have something to do with it. I know he does."

"Did you get a good look at his face?"

"I... I don't know. Maybe."

"Then we'll get a sketch artist in. Maybe we can match the sketch against some of the missing persons files we have."

Mir nodded. Why now? Why after over three months did they make a move now. Why at Dearka's funeral. And why show the horrors of his last moments. She couldn't shake the sound of that scream. It didn't sound like him, but it had to be. Seeing that video dashed any hopes of seeing him again. She was alone. Truly alone.


	6. Chapter V: The Art of Falling In Love

**Chapter V: The Art of Falling In Love  
*** September 8th, 74 CE *****

"Are you sure it's not too soon?" Asked a very nervous Shiho. She was pacing back and forth. "What if we are making a mistake? What if were not meant to be together? It's only been three months! Am I crazy?"

"We'll you going to be if you keep questioning yourself like this" Mir laughed. She slowly sat down into a chair. It was harder to get around now that she was almost 7 months pregnant. "You can keep asking everyone if what you are doing is right but the truth is only you know. To hell with what everyone else may think. If you love him that is all that matters. If you spend your life worrying about what others think you'll just miss out on time you could have spent with him"

"Mir…"

"Have I ever told you the story of how Dearka and I started dating?" She asked. She wanted to get Shiho's mind off of all her questions.

"No I've never heard the story." She said sitting down next to Mir.

Miriallia smiled at the stressed coordinator and began telling her story. "It all started the day the of the cease fire…"

 ***** September 27th, 71 CE *****

A cease fire was announced, everyone should have been happy but the crew of the ARCHANGEL was filled with worry. The fate of the FREEDOM, JUSTICE and STRIKE ROUGE pilots was still unknown. They all looked out into the vast emptiness of space wondering if their comrades had made it out alive. "Where's Kira?" Mir heard Sai ask sadly. It seemed like an eternity before they finally got confirmation from the ETERNAL that they were all safe and sound.

Relieved the Captain stood up and turned to address the crew. Her face filled with shock as she looked in Mir and Sai's direction. But she wasn't looking at them. She was looking past them at the young ZAFT soldier. "Dearka! You're injured!" This wasn't new news. Mir began to wonder why the captain was surprised. She turned her head and looked up at the young man. His bandage was now soaked with blood. A red streak flowed down his face and into his flight suit.

"It's nothing really I'm fine." Dearka tried to wave it off like it was nothing but in truth he was getting dizzy.

"Nonsense. Crewman Haww, please escort Dearka down to the sickbay so he can have his injuries looked after."

Reluctantly Mir agreed saluting before she left. She made her way down to the sickbay in silence. Dearka followed close behind. Both not wanting to say a word. Truth was they were both nervous. The last time they had been in that room was when she attacked him after his cruel words to her. Although they had started to move past the incident it was still engraved in their minds.

When they finally got to the room Mir opened the doors only to find the room empty. "The doctor must still be down in the hanger" She said mostly to herself. She looked up at Dearka. He was losing a lot of blood still. "I'll contact the doctor" She said looking at the communicator on the wall. "In the meantime you better take off your flight suit and the shirt you have underneath. I'll help get you clean up while we wait."

"Are you sure Miss? You do know what we wear under these suits right?" He asked raising an eyebrow at the young girl.

"Would you prefer to bleed out" She snapped. He sighed in defeat and began to remove his flight suit as Mir contacted the hanger and requested that the doctor come back to his office as soon as possible. Knowing it would be 10-15 mins before his arrival she took off her EAF jacket and began to fill a bowl with clean water. She grabbed a cloth and turned towards her companion.

A large blush crossed her face. He was standing in front of her practically naked. She didn't realize how short the short were that ZAFT soldiers wore under their suits. But in truth he did try to warn her. She frowned looking at his muscular chest. It was covered in large black and purple bruises. He was hurt a lot more than he let on he was. She regained her composure and looked him in the eye.

"Sit please" She requested. He sat down on the stool in the middle of the room. The same stool she sat on the day he mistook her for the doctor. She brought over a small table and set the bowl of water down. She dipped the cloth in the water, ringing out the excess liquid. Gently she began cleaning the blood off his face. As quickly as she cleaned his face the blood rushed over it again. She frowned. The cut was deep. She decided to quickly rewrap his head first before continuing.

It wasn't the best bandage job but it would do. The doctor was going to take it off as soon as he got there anyways. There was no point in spending too much time on the task. She continued to clean the blood of his face and neck. The whole time both of them remaining silent. It was awkward between them. Most of their conversations ended in some kind of spat. But this time Dearka just wanted to enjoy how close they were.

Mir looked down at his bruised chest. She began to wonder if his ribs were broken. He was still covered in blood down to his stomach. She placed the cloth back in the water to remove the blood from it. She pulled it out ringing the liquid out of it again. She looked at the next area she would clean. Gently she placed the cloth on the young man's chest. She wiped and dabbed as delicately as possible.

Soon her nerves got the best of her and she pressed a little too hard. Dearka let out a small moan of pain and grabbed her hand squeezing it tightly for a second before loosening his grip. He never let her hand go. Her eyes stared into his. She was lost in the violet pools. She felt her heart pounding out of her chest. Slowly her eyes became heavy. She closed them and leaned slightly forward. She was surprised when she felt something on her lips.

They were Dearka's. She was shocked. She didn't lean forward enough to run into him. Was it possible that he leaned forward too she wondered. The kiss was so unexpected but she couldn't believe how much she really wanted it. She put her hand over the bowl of water and dropped the cloth down into it. Dearka leaped off the stool and wrapped his arms around her waist pressing her against the wall. Thier kiss was intensifying quickly. She playfully bit his lip before licking it with her tongue. He opened his mouth slightly letting her explore more.

They couldn't believe what was happening. They had never shown signs of wanting each other before. It was so unexpected but perfect at the same time. Finally after a few minutes of heavy making out they pulled apart. They were both breathing heavy from lack of oxygen. Mir looked at his chest and could see there was still some cleaning up to do. She then looked at her white t-shirt. It was covered in spots of blood from her make out partner. She put her hand on his chest and guided him down to the stool. Neither one of them speaking a word. Mir picked up her jacket and put it on to cover the new stains.

Just as she picked up the cloth to begin cleaning again the doors whooshed open. There standing in the doorway was the doctor. They were so close to getting busted. "Ah Mr. Elsman. Looks like you've lost a lot of blood. You should have let me give you those stitches when I said so." He said in a stern voice. "Let's take a look." Mir moved to the side as he removed the bandages from the young man head. He cleaned the wound with some antiseptic. He then grabbed the supplies needed. He moved Dearka to sit on the bed while he sat on the stool in front of him. "Now Mr. Elsman we don't have any kind of freezing agent here that would work for a coordinator, your body would metabolise it too fast. So we are going to have to do without."

Dearka nodded. He didn't like the idea of feeling every stitch go in. He was never a fan of needles but he didn't have much of a choice. It was better than bleeding out. He took a deep breath as the doctor started. Mir could see how much pain his was in. He was holding onto the mattress so hard his knuckles were turning white. His eyes tightly closed. She was worried. She sat down beside him and placed her hand on his. He loosened his grip on the mattress and began looking into her eyes. He focused on her. Having her there relaxed him. He began to breath in very calm breaths.

"That should do it Mr. Elsman" The doctor said getting up from the stool. Dearka and Mir stayed sitting next to each other. Not noticing that they were now holding hands. Fingers interlaced with one anothers. "Your ribs don't appear to be broken luckily. Only bruised. But I would take it easy for the next few days while you heal."

"Right. Thanks Doc." he replied weakly.

"You should lay down and get some rest. In the meantime Crewman Haww why don't you go down to his locker and get his clothes. We can't have him walking around the ship like that now can we."

"Yes sir" Mir said standing up. She headed off down to the lockers. It wasn't long before she had his clothes in hand and was heading back to the room the coordinator who stole a kiss was lying. Her mind was lost still focused on that moment. What did it mean? Could they really have feelings for each other? Her thoughts were interrupted when she reached the sickbay doors.

She could hear both the voices of Dearka and the Captain. The Captain seemed concerned while Dearka seemed to have a mix of emotions. She was so confused. Finally the doors opened.

"Oh Crewman Haww. Thank you for taking care of Dearka. If you don't mind I need to ask you another favor."

"Of course Captain. Anything you need me to do I happy to help"

"After Dearka is dressed can you go with him down to his room to pack. He'll be leaving soon and he's still weak from his injuries. A shuttle will be here to pick him up in a little over an hour."

"He's leaving..." She said sadly.

"Yes. His father was arrested. Just like all Patrick Zala supporters from the council. He needs to return to the PLANTs to handle affairs with his family's estate."

"I understand. I'll make sure he's ready when the shuttle gets here."

"Thank you" she took the clothes from Mir's hands and put them in the room before both her and the doctor left heading their separate ways. Miriallia waited out in the hallway for the ZAFT soldier to emerge. When he finally did they headed once again in silence, this time towards his room. it seemed like a long trip. Mir wanted to say so many things to him but at the same time she wanted silence. They entered his room and he picked up a duffel bag and began to fill it with the few things he owned.

"You're really leaving already" Mir asked as she leaned against the door.

"The PLANTs are my home, I need to go back eventually. So why not now?"

"... Dearka… will I ever see you again" her voice was so sad he couldn't help but look up at her. Tears we threating to fall. It hurt him to see that once again he had upset her.

"I don't know" he answered honestly. She walked over to him. She stood there a few seconds before leaning her head against his chest.

"Promise you'll always remember me" she said softly.

Dearka lifted her chin up gently with his hand. Their eyes met, they were lost in each others gaze. "I don't think I could forget you if I tried" they locked lips once again but this time they knew no one was coming to catch them in the act.

Mir put her hands on his shoulders and ripped his jacket off. He wanted her so badly he didn't want to wait to remove all their clothes. He picked her up and pressed her against the wall. Her legs wrapped around his waist "Dearka!" She gasped in surprise.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have" He said embarrassed as he put her down and taking a few steps back. When her feet touched the ground she bit her lips slightly before slowly undressing in front of him. She was soon completely naked. He looked at her shocked. She leaned against the wall as he took in every bit of her beauty.

"If we're going to do this that's at least do it right" She said as seductively as she could manage as she trace and invisible line from her breast to her thighs. She could tell he was speechless. She pushed herself off the wall and help him remove his shirt. She could tell it hurt for him to take it off, but she could also tell he didn't care. He was so focused on her body. He watched as she unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down to the floor. He kicked them off to the side. He was just down to his boxers now. They were both so nervous. Only one thing stood between them and a live altering action.

Mir hesitated at first. The adrenaline of it all was starting to wear off. Her nerves were starting to get the best of her. She looked back into his eyes. She leaned forward and kissed him deeply. Thier make out session become intense. It gave her the confidence and drive to go further. She reached down never breaking the kiss and pulled his boxers down. She leaned against him, feeling every inch of him. She had never felt anything like it before. He was the first person she ever let see her naked, and soon he would be the first person she saw naked.

She broke the kiss, stepped backwards and leaned against the wall. She looked him up and down. Looking at every muscle, every bruise, each and every inch of him. She felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest. She was nervous and excited all at the same time. He felt his breathing become erratic. He wanted to leap at her but he knew she needed to make the first move. She walked back over to him and grabbed his hand. She guided him to the bed and gently suggested with her hands that he lay down. He quickly obeyed.

He laid his head down on the pillow and she climbed on top of him. He was inches from being inside her. It was exciting and scary all at the same time. They began kissing once again. They were lost in each others presence. "I'm ready" She said softly looking down at the boy she once hated.

"Are you sure?" He asked concerned. She nodded yes. He nodded back "We'll take it slow. If you want to stop at anytime then we will, I promise"

"Let's do this" She whispered. He rolled her off him and onto her back. He crawled up between her legs. She wrapped them up around his waist. In one well positioned thrust he was inside her. She moaned slightly. She knew he was going to do it but the feeling of it was so unexpected. She was filled with nerves but she liked the feeling.

"Are you ok?" He asked quickly as he started to pull out. She tightened her legs grip around him forcing him all the way in again.

"Never better" she said seductively. "I want you to stay… but if you really need to go back to the PLANTs then at least give me this one happy moment to share with you."

"Are you sure you're not gonna regret it?"

She smiled "I regret everything with you. But this… I never will" He nodded and began kissing her before starting to gently thrust himself deep inside her. She moaned with pleasure. He was scared that he was doing the wrong thing, but it felt so right.

When it was finally all over he rolled off her and she curled up into his arms. He kissed her forehead. She took a deep breath. She hadn't felt this relaxed since before she was involved in the war. "It's soon going to be time" he whispered.

"Then you should go" she said.

He looked at her weird for a second raising one eyebrow "You're going to see me off right?"

"I can't" she said softly as she wrapped herself up in the sheet. She sat up and looked down at him. "I watched someone I care about walk of my life once before. He never came back. I know you're not gonna die just because you leave but… the results are the same. I'm never going to see him again and I may never see you. Don't ask me to watch you get on that shuttle"

He sat up and leaned in and kissed her. "If that's what you want then I'll respect that" He got out of bed and started to get dresses. He handed her clothes as she dressed herself as well. He picked up his duffle bag and they headed towards the door together. "I guess this is goodbye then… until we meet again"

"Goodbye Dearka Elsman"

"Goodbye Miriallia Haww" he said under his breath. It was the first time her name passed his lips. He hoped it wouldn't be the last time. He kissed her one last time holding her tightly in his arms before walking out the door. A few minutes later he got on the shuttle back to the PLANTs. In that moment they didn't know if they would ever see each other again.

 ***** December 24th, 71 CE *****

Mir sat alone in her room. She was wearing her favorite orange PJ's staring at the same picture she had everyday for months. It was the last picture taken of her and Tolle before their lives were thrown into chaos. She was so sad. He was gone and she would never see him again. She thought she had moved passed it when she was still on the ARCHANGEL. But being back in her childhood home brought all the pain back. She buried her face into her knees. It was hard not to think about him all the time, and when she wasn't thinking about him she was think about a certain blond haired coordinator.

She took a deep breath. She felt a cool breeze blow through the room. " _That weird"_ She thought. " _I never opened the window"_. She looked over towards her window and was shocked. There sit on the windowsill was someone she never thought she would see again. "Dearka!" she exclaimed in surprise.

"Hey Miriallia" He said before noticing her eyes were red and puffy. She had obviously been crying "Are you ok" he asked sweetly.

"What doing here" She asked ignoring his question.

"It's funny. A few days ago I was given a leave of absence from ZAFT for the next few months. I was sitting alone in my father's big house… when I realized it never felt so empty. He was never really around much the past few years since he was busy with the council. So I didn't really understand why I felt so lonely. Then I realized something."

"And what's that?"

"That I was missing you. And that there was no reason for me never to see you again"

Mir stood up from her spot on the floor. "Dearka… "

"I haven't stopped thinking about you ever since we… well you know"

Mir blushed at the thought of their temporary sexual relationship. "Why are you here in my window?"

"Like I said I wanted to see you."

"Why would you want to see a total mess like me"

"Because I'm just as big of mess" he admitted. "I just can't walk away and pretend that we didn't do what we did. What happened between us it wasn't just some fluke. I… I have feelings for you. I don't know exactly what they are or what they mean but I'm not going to run and hide from them."

She put her hand up in the air and motioned with her finger for him to come closer. He hugged her tightly and she reached up and kissed him. She missed him there was no denying it, but he wasn't Tolle. "Dearka stop." She said pulling away. "My family is downstairs. And I don't just mean my parents but my grandparents too. We can't just fool around up here with them all down there"

He creased her cheek lovingly "And why aren't you down there with them? It's Christmas Eve shouldn't you be there with them?"

"Shouldn't you be with your family"

"I have no family." He said sadly.

"I'm sorry" She replied quickly.

"Don't be. My mother died when I was just a kid. And my father is currently in jaIl for war crimes. I've got no one left, and it's ok. But you still have family and you should be spending tonight with them"

"I can't stand their pity anymore… they all look at me like I'm broken and fragile."

"Maybe you are… and that's ok too. You lost someone you love and that pain it's hard to get over. I lost my mom seven years ago and it still hurts. I don't expect you to ever fully get over that pain, but maybe you'll let me be by your side while you do"

"What are you saying?" She asked already knowing what he meant.

"I want to see what this is, what these feelings are I have for you. And if you want to too then lets do it. Let's date and try this out."

"What if it doesn't work out"

"It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all right?"

She smiled at the young man. "You should go. I can't have my father finding you here in my room. It wouldn't make a very good first impression. Maybe I'll see you after Christmas" she said her words full of hope.

"Of course" He smiled and kissed her one last time before heading towards the window. She walked over and watched him jump down to the ground and walk away. This time she knew it wouldn't be the last time she would see him. No… this time it was only the beginning.

 ***** September 8th, 74 CE *****

Miriallia smiled at the stressed coordinator and began telling her story. "It all started the day the of the cease fire… He had been injured. I took him down to the sickbay. The doctor wasn't there so while we waited I cleaned him up. That's when we kissed for the first time. We both leaned in wanting it at the same time. After that I learned he was coming back here to the PLANTs. I slept with him for the first time that night. He left shortly after. I never thought I would see him again."

"So you really slept together before you were ever in a real relationship." She asked eagerly.

"It happens more often than you think. Anyways, it was a few months after that on Christmas eve that I saw him again. It was then talking to him I realized I had these unexplainable feelings for him. A few days later we went out for coffee and that was it. We started dating after that."

"But you guys only dated for a few months"

"Sure it ended not long after it started but it was so much fun while it lasted. He taught me to fight, and to stand on my own two feet. I'll never regret that. When you're with someone you love you never regret anything. Every moment you spend together is worth it" She looked at the young woman. She was looking much more relaxed now. "I know it's only been three months. But I've know Yzak for almost seven months now. I've worked closely with him and I know he wouldn't be standing up there waiting for you if he didn't think it was the right thing to do. You just need to ask yourself is it the right thing for you?"

Shiho stood up and looked down at her clothes. She was wearing a beautiful white mermaid gown. Today was her wedding day. She looked over at Mir. She had become her best friend since Dearka's death. "It wasn't suppose to be like this. Dearka was suppose to be up there with him. Instead he has Athrun standing up there. They are barely even friends but he's all he has left."

"Yzak doesn't care who is standing next to him, all he cares about is the woman he hopes he is marrying."

Shiho took a deep breath "I guess we shouldn't keep him waiting any longer" she reached down and helped her pregnant friend up. "You look beautiful"

"Not as much as the blushing bride" They both turned toward the doorway and walked into the large cathedral. The same one only months ago they had been at for Dearka's funeral. This was a much happier occasion. Shiho looked up the aisle to the very nervous and excited Yzak. She knew it was fast but this was what they both wanted. If they learned one thing from their comrade's death it was to seize every moment.


	7. Chapter VI: The Breaking Point

**Chapter VI: The Breaking Point  
*** November 19th, 74 CE *****

Miriallia sat alone in the middle of the room. She rubbed her large swollen belly feeling every kick and movement her tiny miracle made. She looked around at the walls and decorations that surrounded her. Her eyes soon fixated on a certain piece of furniture. The small white crib. She was 8 ½ months pregnant. Soon that crib would be filled with her little bundle of joy.

She tried for so long to ignore the pregnancy. To pretend it didn't exist. She didn't even know the sex of the baby. That would make it all too real. Almost as real as sitting in the nursery of her new home. It was filled will so many happy hopeful things. Things that just made it all hurt that much more.

"There that's the last box for this room" Yzak said as he set the box of baby clothes in front of her.

"What if this is all wrong?" She asked he looked at her with an angry expression on his face. "What if the baby doesn't like bears, what if they like bunnies or ducks?"

"Are you kidding me! First you made me change the paint from grey to yellow then back to grey! Then you made me replace the black crib with a white one because you thought it was too depressing! I'm not changing a bunch of stupid stuff toys! Stop being so indecisive Haww. The only decisive decision you've managed to make was naming Shiho and I the godparents."

"Sorry Yzak, it's just…" She took a deep breath "I still can't believe we are here" she said. "The first people to move to Harmonix. The governors of a new colony, the colony _he_ envisioned for us to be together. To be able to someday maybe raise a family together. I just wish he could see it."

Yzak sat down beside her looked at the crib "Me too." they sat in silence for a while. Looking around the room. Breathing in reality.

"When do the rest of the residents start showing up?" She asked.

"The doctors and nurses should start arriving in a few hours. As for the rest of the people, it will be a few more days before their shuttles leave for here."

"We should go set up our offices in the common. We need to get back to work on the BLUE COSMOS research. We've seem to have gotten no where in the past eight months."

Yzak stood up and helped Mir off the floor. "We can set up the offices but no research."

"They haven't made a move since the funeral. They are in hiding." she said with anger in her voice. "We need to find them before they decided to come out of hiding and make another devastating move."

"You need to stay away from the stress of it. At least until that thing comes out of you." he said bitterly.

She looked down at her giant belly. "Fine" she said annoyed. She didn't like it but agreed. As long as that baby was still inside her she couldn't do much. She couldn't help but hope it would all be over soon.

They both walked towards the door. Mir looked back into the room. A picture on the wall caught her eye. It made her so sad to look at it. It was a black and white copy of the photo Dearka used to take into every battle with him. The photo of the two of them together. His so called good luck charm. She frowned at the thought. Some good luck charm she thought. But no matter how hard it was, it was important for her child to know what their father looked like.

They walked down the stairs and into the common area of the building. It was a strangely designed building. There were three sections to it. The two sections on each side were large five bedroom houses. Full equipped with five bathrooms each, a large kitchen, livingroom, a den and a study. In the center of the building was known as the common area or just 'the common'. It was where their official governor's offices were and where they would continue work on Operation Freeing Humanity.

Although they were both governors now they maintained their ranks in their respective militaries. Harmonix was a meeting ground for the three councils. Because of this it also contained military bases for the three militaries. As governor for the coordinators Yzak oversaw ZAFT. Miriallia being a natural looked after the Earth Alliance affairs. Since Orb was a neutral country they watched over that military together. They didn't have much authority over those posted there. Mostly new recruits brought into the colony needed to be approved by them first.

It wasn't long before Yzak and Miriallia had her desk all set up. He insisted that he help her, but refused her help. He wanted her to relax. He helped her to sit down on the large comfy couch that was in their office. He handed her a book to read and went back to organizing. She sat there reading her book. Suddenly she felt a sharp pain, almost like cramps. She had felt them all day but they were starting to get a bit more intense and closer together. She was about to say something about it when a thought about BLUE COSMOS took over.

"Yzak?" She asked with a strange look on her face.

"What Haww?" He asked from his desk that he was finally almost finished organizing.

"Why when Operation Freeing Humanity started did the council think BLUE COSMOS had no funding?"

"I thought I told you no working right now" She raised an eyebrow at his tone. He had spent most of the past eight plus months with her. He knew she wasn't about to let this go. "Because LOGOS was the last known funder. They were defeated weeks before the war ended and BLUE COSMOS seemed to be finished. No one thought the group was even active until we got an anonymous tip that they had been active on that island"

"What happened to the person who gave the tip?"

"What do you mean? They were anonymous. It's not like anyone ever met them"

"But what if they were BLUE COSMOS. The tip could have been really more of an invitation for ZAFT to come to their deaths. To show the world they were still around and had power. It was almost four months after LOGOS was defeated before the tip. It was plenty of time for the group to reorganize, find a new leader and get funding."

"We already thought of that. But there are no living people with large enough bank account who could be funding them. We've checked all records possible."

"What about someone who's missing?"

"What do you mean?" She had his curiosity.

"It happens all the time. Someone rich gets involved with fraud or something trying to increase revenues and their profits from it. Eventually they get caught and face jail time. But some manage to escape before that happens. They drain their bank accounts and start a new life as someone else. A person like that is willing to wait as long as it takes to get what they want."

"So you think some run away billionaire is behind all this?"

Mir winced slightly in pain before speaking "We need to get a recording of the anonymous caller. We...We can…" Yzak eyes opened wide he could tell Mir was in a lot of pain. She was breathing through it but it was clear on her face. "Test it against the voice on the video from Dearka's funeral. If it's a match we could be a step closer to finding them"

"Haww are you ok?" He asked worried as he walked over and sat down next to her.

"It's just indigestion" She said playing it off like it was nothing. "Yzak… If I'm right about this it could be huge. We might actually finally...ahh" she screamed out slightly in pain. Yzak was now more worried. He looked up at the clock. The doctors and nurses should be in Harmonix by now as long as there we no delays.

"How this is more than indigestion and you know it! Don't tell me you're in labour and pretending you're not just to talk theories with me." He looked at her and could tell he was right "Dammit HAWW!" He jumped off the couch "We need to get you to the hospital NOW!" She nodded and he helped her off the couch.

He helped her out into the passenger's seat of his car. He was scared. This was the girl he promised his friend he would look after. The girl he promised to protect. But man was she making it hard for him. He could tell the contractions were getting close together, and she had ignored them. Part of him was afraid they weren't going to make it there in time. He started the car and speed out of the driveway.

"Haww are you ok? Remember your breathing" He said trying to sound calm.

"What if I can't do this" She asked her voice cracking. "I'm failing at the mission to find BLUE COSMOS. I'm coming up with this insane theories hoping they will help. But what if I'm just fooling myself. What if I'm still that useless teenage girl from Heliopolis who's blind to everything happening around her? What if I fail at taking care of his baby too? What if I keep failing him for the rest of my life. You… you should have been the one on that mission to find him. Maybe he would still be alive if you were."

He reached his free hand over and held hers. She looked at him surprise "Just keep breathing Haww. You are going to get through this, I promise. And you're not a failure. You're the reason this investigation has gotten as far as it has. You keep me calm and from lashing out. I'm… too hotheaded to be any good sometimes. Dearka used to be the one to calm me and make me think level headedly but now… that's you" he admitted.

"Yzak… " She said softly. He had praised her like that before. He was so sweet.

Finally they arrived at the hospital. Lucky for them they were met by the doctors and nurses. Mir was helped out of the car and into a wheelchair. She was taken down to an examination room where they discovered the baby was going to be there a lot quicker then they thought.

"Alright Governor Haww it's time" the doctor said after checking how far along she was. He could see the worry on the young girl's face. He looked over to the young man standing next to her. "Governor Joule will you be coming in the room as well?"

"Yes"

"No"

They both said at the sametime. Yzak looked down at Mir. He wanted nothing more than to stay far away from that room but he could see how scared she was. This moment was a life changing one. One he believed he had no right being a part of. But the one man who did was gone forever. "Yzak please" she begged "I don't want to be alone in there."

"Ok Haww" He walked beside her holding her hand as they entered the room she would give birth to her child. The first child born into Harmonix. He helped her onto the bed and soon it started. There was no time for an epidural so she had to go without. She felt every bit of pain. But she didn't care, she kept thinking it was nothing compared to the pain Dearka felt in his last moments.

She pushed over and over again. Almost an hour and still the baby wasn't out. She was drenched in sweat. She was exhausted, and in an incredible amount of pain. "Alright governor one more big push" the doctor said. He could see how tired she was but he knew it wouldn't be long now.

"I can't" her voice quivered as she said it. She could barely hold herself up anymore never mind try to push. "I can't do this. Please… I can't" She begged.

Yzak looked at his friend's girl. He could tell she was at her breaking point. Her emotions were getting the best of her. "Miriallia look at me." He said sweetly. It was the first time he ever called her by her first name. She looked him deep in his icy blue eyes. "I know you can do this. From everything Dearka told me about you, and from everything I've seen you do, I know you can do this. You are going to be an amazing mother to that child, because you are an amazing woman. You just need to push one more time I promise. Just five more minutes of pain for lifetime with someone who love you unconditionally… I made a promise to Dearka that I would protect you until he returned. I'm not going to break that now. Please Miriallia, just one more push. You can do this" He urged.

She couldn't believe his words, he had never been this nice to her before. But she could tell his words were sincer. She nodded and when another contraction came she pushed as hard as she could manage. She bared down hard, closing her eyes tightly. She felt like she was about to explode when suddenly to room was filled with the most beautiful sound. The sound of her baby's first cry. She opened her eyes and took her first look at her tiny newborn. The child was covered in blood and gunk but through it all she could see a small mop of blond hair and tanned skin. "I did it" She said under her breath.

"Of course. Did you really have any doubts Haww?" he said softly.

"It's a girl!" The doctor said handing the newly cleaned up baby to her mother.

She looked down at her small bundle of joy. She could see so much of Dearka in her already. The hair and the skin, it was all him. Even her nose looked like his. Yzak looked at the little bastard that had caused the girl so much pain. Then he noticed Mir vibrating slightly. He saw the drops of water falling from her eyes down onto the blanket her child was wrapped in. It was the first time she cried since Dearka left on his mission 8 ½ months ago. "She looks just like him" She said through her sobs. "He's… He's really gone isn't he. He's never coming back. He's never going to hold her. He'll never even know she even exists."

Yzak wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. "I know Mir… I know"

"Yzak!" He looked back and was relieved to see his wife.

"Shiho. I'm glad you're finally here" he said hugging her tightly. They both turned and looking through the glass window beside them. They were in front of the newborn nursery. There were so many beds but only one baby.

"She's beautiful" She said smiling. "How's Mir doing?" She asked worried about her best friend.

"She cried… for the first time today" Shiho looked at him sadly. "She was heartbroken. I think for months she had this crazy idea in her head that he was still out there, still alive somehow. But the moment this little bastard came into the world that hope was crushed."

"Did she give her a name yet?"

"Ava… It means life. Ava Elsman"

"She's giving her his last name? Is she sure that's the right thing to do?"

"I thought the same thing. But she wants her daughter to have as much of her father in her life as possible… even if it's only a name."

"Miriallia Haww. She really proves how strong naturals can be." She looked lovingly at her husband. "But now that she has hit her breaking point… I'm scared you'll hit yours soon too."

"I'm not going to cry. Dearka is dead. I know he is gone and I've known it from the start. I don't need to cry to prove that" he spat.

"He was your best friend"

"And he had been gone ever since that thing was planted in Haww" He snapped pointing to the baby.

"Her name is Ava. Not Bastard. Not Thing. AVA!"

"I need some fresh air " He said storming out the door. He headed down stairs and took a deep breath. It had been a long day. They didn't even finish unpacking when Miriallia went into labour. They weren't ready for this. They were suppose to have two weeks to settle in. Two more weeks to get use to the idea. Instead Mir decided to pop early he thought angrily. He took a few more deep breaths before heading back inside. He walked back up to the nursery but Shiho was no where in sight. " _She must be visiting Haww"_ he thought.

"Would you like to go in and hold her Governor Joule?" Yzak jumped in surprise when he noticed the nurse had come out of the nursery. He hesitated at first before nodding his head. He sat down on the rocking chair and she handed him the small baby. "Mind her head" She left the two of them alone in the room. He rocked they girl gently in the chair.

Shiho was angry with Yzak. She was afraid he was going to always mistreat Ava. She had gone down to visit Mir but she was sleeping so she headed back to the nursery. She was surprised to see Yzak holding his friend's baby. She walked into the doorway and watched her husband. He was so gentle with her. He was watching her sleep. Then out of the blue he started talking to the newborn.

"A-Ava" His voice was cracking and weak. It was full of quivers like he was trying to hold back tears with all his might "I promise I won't let you ever feel the pain your mother has. I promise I will always protect you. From today until the day I die I will make sure you live a good life filled with happiness. I promise you'll know your father. Anything you ever want to know about him, I'll tell you. Because you deserve to know him. He was my best friend. And every day of life has been impossible without him."

Shiho watched as tears flooded down her husband's face. She had never in her life seen him cry before. But now he was sobbing uncontrollably. She walked into the room and took the newborn from him. She laid her in her bassinet before going back to the man she loved. She sat down on his lap and pulled him close. "I knew it was only a matter of time. You two couldn't hold back your tears forever"

"He's really gone" he sobbed

"I know sweetie" she replied as she stroked his hair to calm him down.

He buried his face into his wife chest before making a vow. "I won't let them get away with this. BLUE COSMOS will pay for what they did to our family!" He said in his classic decisive tone of voice. "Dearka was right: Days, weeks, months, even years. No matter how long it takes we will find them. And when we do I'll end them for taking him and all the other away from us. And that is a promise I will never break!"


	8. Chapter VII: You Can't Hide Forever

**Chapter VII: You Can't Hide Forever** **  
** ***** Present Day - March 4th, 79 CE *****

Mir and Yzak made their way through the park. It was only a short walk from there to the council's building. Miriallia seemed lost in her thoughts. She was playing with her braid like she always did when something was bothering her. Yzak knew better than to ask her about her feelings. Most times it ended in them fighting and he needed to be on her good side tonight. But when he saw the sad expression on her face he couldn't help but ask.

"What's on your mind Haww"

"This could be it. If this mission is approved we could finally find the ones responsible for all the pain. For all the lives lost over the past five years. But… "

"But what?"

"It will never bring him back. Even if we've found the man who killed him, Dearka will always be gone. Ava will still only know her father as a picture on the wall and the perfect happy stories we tell her. She will never know him for all his flaws. He wasn't perfect. He could be arrogant and rude. Just a plain jerk... But he was also loving and kind." she said the last part with her voice quivering. Tears at the corners of her eyes.

"She's 4" Yzak said bluntly. "Even if he was still alive and around her she would never see him as a jerk or arrogant. She would just see her father… He would have been a great one"

Mir looked at him and smiled "I know, and so will you" she said kissing him on the cheek before walking into the large council building. He smiled and followed close behind. They waited in the grand hall outside the meeting room waiting to be call in. "Are you nervous?" She asked

"No" He replied quickly. "Because this time I know we've got them."

Soon they were called in. They stood in front of the large council. The same three councils they had stood in front of many times before since embarking on the important mission. But this time was different then all the last. Every other time they were reporting on their failures. It was a huge hit to their prides every single time. But this time they were laying out the battle plans for what they believed to be the last.

"Today you both have requested the presence of the full council to come before you" Cagalli Yula Attha-Zala stated. "Not only that but the presence of the top officers in all our ranks. Five years you have been assigned to Operation Freeing Humanity. And in that five years you've never made any requests to speak with us. It has always been us making the requests. So Governor-Commander Joule and Governor-Commander Haww please enlighten us on why you have requested a meeting today."

"It's been over five years… " Miriallia started "Since the day Captain Elsman and his team were attacked and killed. It wasn't until a year after that that BLUE COSMOS made another move. It's never been the same as the first time. ZAFT soldiers start to go missing. Not in a big group like the first time but one or two here and there. Then we received an anonymous tip from the same voice every time of where their bodies can be found. Some that we find at these places have been missing for days others for weeks all on the same islands."

"It quickly became apparent to us they were not killed on the islands we find them at. These islands are drop off points." Yzak stated. "We knew that somewhere out there there was a place that these men and women were being taken to be tourchered. We went through theory after theory. Researching for days and hours at a time trying to find some kind of connect that could bring us to the BLUE COSMOS base of operations"

"About a year ago I decided to work on a theory I thought of nearly four years ago. I came up with it while I was in the last hours of my pregnancy. Do to the stress and the chaos of that day the theory was quickly forgot. It was my belief back then, that the person responsible for all of this was someone living off the grid. Someone who was wealthy enough to fully fund the efforts of the organization. I had believed they got caught up in some illegal activity and drained their bank accounts and went into hiding to escape. Soon after they would have become the leader of BLUE COSMOS."

"That a wonderful theory but that is all it is Governor-Commander" said Nicolas. Mir shook her head. She clicked a button and up popped a picture of a man. He had droopy brown eyes that were like two drops of chocolate. His thick, straight, chestnut hair was short with no real style to it. He seemed tall and had a masculine build. His skin was cream-colored. His wardrobe was a completely black and gray color scheme. He seemed stern. Put perhaps what stood out most was a scar on his right hand. A scar in the shape of a crescent moon.

"Meet Donald Rowe" Miriallia said. "Five years ago he was a well known BLUE COSMOS supporter. He never participated in any protests or riots held by them but he had made public statements proving his support. On November 18th, 73 C.E. Donald vanished without a trace. All his bank accounts drained. As many of you know this was the day Former Chairman of the PLANTs Durandal had revealed to the world the manipulation that was LOGOS."

"It is our belief that this was also the day he put his plans of taking over BLE COSMOS into action." Yzak added. He could tell from all their faces they were all shocked and sceptical at the same time. "Donald Rowe was no stranger to public speaking or forms of leadership. He ran his company for years, holding several press conferences. We were able to get this recording from one of those conferences."

" _If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times. I'm willing to do anything to ensure that my company is at the top"_

"We compared this with a sound clip from the video that disrupted Captain Elsman's funeral"

" _It's too bad you won't live to see that day"_

"The voices in these two sound clips sound nearly identical. But we don't expect you to take our word for it. We've run both them though the most sophisticated software to see if there was any possibility they were a match. And across the board on every aspect tested it was a match. Donald Rowe is the man who took the life of Captain Dearka Elsman and ordered the slaughter of countless other"

The room erupted in chatter and whispers. They were shocked. After five years there was a huge break in the investigation. They had a name and a face. Donald Rowe was undoubtable the new leader of BLUE COSMOS. But what did this all mean? "Having a name unfortunately doesn't mean much" Replied Chairwoman Lacus Clyne-Yamato. "We need more than that."

"Lucky for you we have more" Replied Miriallia. "Three years ago I began geographically scanning all the islands on Earth that matched the type the soldiers we being dropped at. It was my hope that one of these islands would reveal a hideout of some sort. Unfortunately this proved to be futile. We learned nothing new from scanning hundreds of islands. But when we start truly making headway on this latest theory I decided to take my geographical research in a new direct." She clicked a button and up popped a picture of a maison on a lone island in the middle of an ocean.

"You are looking at what we believe to be the hideout of BLUE COSMOS. We checked satellite records. Once a month a photo is taken of various parts of the Earth and cataloged for future reference. Five years ago, this maison didn't exist. We looked at the next years worth of records to find it being built. The next month after it's completion coordinators started to go missing again."

"I scanned the heat signals given off by the island. There is a large building below the surface. Big enough to build and maintain mobile suit, create and take care of extends as well as hold hostages. Currently there are twenty ZAFT soldiers missing. They are believed to have been taken by BLUE COSMOS. We believe with every fiber of our being that this is where they are. They are on this island waiting to be rescued. Please give us permission to take a large team and attack before we get another call.

"Please give us a few minutes to make a decision" Lacus stated before the three leaders stood up and left the room.

They both remain silent the whole drive home. They were both exhausted but happy. The meeting took forever to finish but that's what happens when you are putting together a team. It was the greatest team they could ever hope for. Even Kira Yamato and Athrun Zala were coming out of retirement to take on BLUE COSMOS. They were hopeful and nervous. There was no telling what could happen in the next few day. Tomorrow before noon they would be leaving, only to return when BLUE COSMOS was officially defeated.

They both walked up the large steps of the Governor's Mansion and headed in Yzak's said. They couldn't help but smile when they opened the door. There curled up in a blanket sleeping was little Ava. "Sorry Mir. She wouldn't go to sleep. She wanted to be here when the two of you got home" Shiho said whispering. She started to lean down to pick her up only to be stopped by her friend.

"I've got her. You should take it easy Shiho"

"I'm fine" She said "I'm only 7 months"

"But you look like a whale" Yzak said under his breath earning a disapproving glare from both women.

"So…" She said changing the subject "How did things go?"

"Maybe we should talk about this at Haww's. After Ava is safe in her bed." The two girls nodded. Mir took Ava up to her bed and tucked her in. She looked so sweet sleeping there. She could see more and more of Dearka in her everyday. Even her mannerisms reminded her of him. Lucky for her though Ava got her eyes. She didn't know if she would have the strength to look in his eyes again. She walked over to the door and looked back. Her daughter's room was filled with pictures of Dearka. Every time Yzak would show the girl a picture of her father she would claim it as her own. It made Mir happy to know that she loved her father.

Mir went downstairs and started a pot of tea. She walked out into the study and sat down with her young friends. "She still asleep" Yzak asked.

"Sleeping like a log." She replied.

"So the meeting" Shiho asked again.

"They took all evidence into consideration and decided… that they would be fools not to pursue this. We leave tomorrow morning"

"Yzak that incredible!" She exclaimed "Wait… why don't you two sound happy?"

"Because Shiho" Miriallia said "This could be a very dangerous mission. Not only are we going to be fighting mobile suits but we will be infiltrating the mansion itself at the same time. Once the fighting starts we are afraid if we don't get in there quick enough they may slaughter the hostages. We can't let that happen"

"Haww and I will be leading the troops into the mansion. While Yamato and Zala lead the troops outside. We'll be attacking inside and out."

"It's going to be dangerous isn't it. DAMMIT! Why now! Why couldn't this break come at a time when I could go with both of you! I… I wish I could help you two somehow."

"You are. You're going to take care of Ava for me. And my little nephew inside your round belly." Mir said with a smile. "Promise me you will look after her. I don't know how long this mission will take. But I promise when we return we will return with victory in hand."

"Just promise me one thing. That you both will come back alive"

"No" they both replied at the same time. Shiho looked devastated at their response.

"What do you mean no!"

"Dearka promised me he would come back. He didn't and it devastated me. I know he didn't mean to break that promise but it nearly destroyed me. We can't promise you something we can't guarantee. You know how dangerous this battle might be. We promise will we do our best to come back but that is all we can promise."

Shiho nodded her head. She knew they were both right but she didn't have to like it. Her husband and best friend were about to rush off in one of the most important battles of their lives. There was no guarantee they would return. It was heartbreaking but it was in truth the career she too had chosen once upon a time. And if it wasn't for the baby inside of her she would be rushing off by their sides.

The next morning came fast. Too fast for Shiho. She watched Mir and Ava talking happily back and forth. She was always amazed at how smart and articulate the small child was. In lots of ways she reminded her of the sarcastic coordinator who use to pester her. Trying to get her to tell him if she like Yzak as more than a commanding officer. If only he could see them now. Married for over four years and expecting their first child together. They had grown up so much from the people they were back then.

"Shiho can we talk?" He husband asked softly. She nodded and they headed out to the balcony for some privacy.

"If I don't come bac-"

"Don't say that!"

"Shiho please… just let me say this." She could tell he was serious "If I don't come back I want you to cry if that's what you feel you need. I don't want you to try and be strong. Let out your pain. Don't bottle it up like… like Haww did. She held it in for so long that when Ava came along she was such a wreck for weeks she could barely take care of her kid. I don't want my child to suffer because his father, someone he doesn't even know, caused his mother pain"

"You're going to come back I know you are. You wouldn't leave me alone, I know you won't"

"And Haww truly believed Dearka would never leave her like that. These people… after what they did to him there is no telling what is going to happen when we attack tomorrow morning. I could be one of the many lives lost in the chaos. If I could I would promise you in an instant that I would come back to you… but I can't. But I can promise you that I love you. And I will always love you until the day I die… and beyond." He said before leaning in and kissing her. They only broke the kiss when her sobbs became too much to do both. So instead he held her tight in his arms.

When she finally calmed down they walked back in the house. There they heard Miriallia explaining to Ava how she was going away on a long trip. "Mommy is going to help uncle Yzak find the bad people who took daddy away." She said smiling at the young girl.

"Are you gonna see daddy?" She asked confused.

"No… Ava. I'm never going to see daddy again. But that is ok. I promise I will make the bad people go away. And then there will be no more of this crazy trips away for a while… ok"

"Ok mommy" The two hugged tightly. Then Mir stood up and looked at her partner.

"It's time Yzak" She said in a serious tone.

"I know" He walked over and gave Ava a big hug "You take good care of Aunt Shiho for me while Mommy and I are gone ok Elsman" He said to the little girl.

"Yes Unkie!" She said trying to sault but failing at it. Ironically it was the same mocking sault her father used to give him. He couldn't help but smile every time she did it. He ruffled her hair under his hand before the two of them walked away. They exited the mansion and headed down to Yzak's car.

"You scared Haww"

"I've never been more confident in my life. This battle is going to change our lives forever. After this nothing will ever be the same again. We will put a stop to BLUE COSMOS. And if I have to I will kill Donald Rowe with my bare hands. He will pay for what he did to Dearka. That is a promise I will keep." He looked at her. He never had seen her so determined in his life. Part of him worried about her but the other part knew she was ready for this. She had become an above average marksman, she was well trained in self defense and she was a very quick thinker. He knew she was ready for anything. Or at least he hoped she was. "What about you? are you scared?"

"No. I know that I'm finally going to get the revenge I've been craving for five years. The man who killed my best friend is about to get the shock of a lifetime. He might hid behind his extends but the truth is those are his only supporters. A bunch of people forced into helping him. But that is his downfall. If we drag the battle out long enough they won't have time to recharge and we will have the uphand. BLUE COSMOS will finally fall. Operation Freeing Humanity will finally come to an end."

"Then let's go" she said. They pulled out of the driveway. Mir looked back and could see Ava waving to her in the window. She wanted to wave back but it was too hard. Mir truly believed Ava was right when she asked if her mother was going to see her daddy. Mir had this uncontrollable feeling that she was going to see Dearka. which could only mean one thing. Maybe she was destined to die in this battle and finally be reunited with the man she loved. Maybe.


	9. Chapter VIII: For the Unity of Humanity

**Chapter VIII: For the Unity of Humanity  
*** Present Day - March 6th, 79 CE *****

It was finally the morning of the final mission, soon it would start. Mir was nervous but determined. This battle would mark the end of her military service. She vowed once the operation was over and all the members of BLUE COSMOS were brought to justice she would leave the military and focus on her daughter. She deserved to live as normal of life as possible. But Miriallia didn't know if that was possible. She had this feeling… this overwhelming feeling that she was going to see Dearka soon. The closer they got to the island the stronger the feeling became. In her mind this only meant one thing... She was not going to make it out alive.

She started to get ready. She equipped herself with her handgun. It was the only type of gun she knew how to handle. It held just six bullets. Each and everyone was intended for Rowe. She looked at the other weapons in the large locker. A knife caught her eye. It reminded her of a smaller version of the one she attacked Dearka with many years ago. Maybe his spirit was trying to tell her something. She leaned down pulling down her sock. She strapped the knife and sheath around her leg before pulling her sock back up. Just incase she thought.

Once they were within a mile of the island the mansion was located on the fighting started. Over 30 snatchers quickly launched to intercept them. In response both the FREEDOM and the JUSTICE launched along with other various forces from the three different militaries. The entire air space was soon engulfed in chaos. Yzak, Miriallia and Mwu along with a large crew from the three militaries headed for the island. The ARCHANGEL stood guard protecting their boats as they made their way there.

As soon as they landed they stormed the mansions. Guns were firing everywhere. Men from both sides falling to the ground injured. Before too long they broke into the mansion. Mwu and Miriallia began checking each room for extend pods. Every bedroom of the mansion seemed to be filled with 4 to 5 pods. None of them seemed to be occupied. It seemed that all the able bodies we fighting either in the air or inside the building.

Miriallia picked up her communicator to contact Yzak "Yzak? Do you read me"

" _Yes Haww I read you loud and clear!"_ he replied. She could hear gunshots in the background. She knew he was in the middle of a heated shoot out.

"We've checked and cleared all the rooms on the top level. Our team is coming to meet yours."

" _Right"_

Mir and Mwu made their way through the injured soldiers and sea of blood. It wasn't long before their teams met up with Yzak's. Seeing all the injured soldiers Mir ordered members of their teams to carry the injured from both sides outside to get help. She knew most of the extends were there against their wills. If they still were themselves they would never be doing these terrible things.

"We have them retreating deeper. Their ranks seem to be diminishing quickly. They must have focused most of their soldiers outside" Yzak boasted.

"They probably didn't think we would attack the mansion itself" Mir speculated. "According to my scans there should only be one floor remaining… Donald Rowe should be down there" Yzak nodded as they made their way down the long staircase. They kept their guns ready for anything. When they got to the bottom of the stairs they were in a large room with two doors at the back. In the middle of the room sitting calmly in a chair was _him_. The newest and the last leader of BLUE COSMOS. "That bastard" Mir said under her breath.

Within seconds a shoot out had begun. Soldiers were being injured left and right. But as quickly as it seemed to start it ended all there was left was Donald. He smiled a devilish smile. As he started to back up towards the doors. He pressed a button and both sets of doors swung open. "You have a choice to make!" He yelled. "Continue to pursue me… or rescue you fellow soldiers. Tick tock Governors. Tick Tock." He said before running off into one of the doorways.

Mir began running towards the same door. Yzak started to follow her "Yzak no! Take the rest of the teams find the captives. Get them and all the injured to safety!"

"La Fllaga can handle that! You not going in there alone. There could be more extends in there!"

"We've been fighting for almost two hours. If there are any extends I can handle them on my own. Get the injured and the captives out of here. Promise me" she waited for a response but he didn't give one "Commander Joule! Promise me now!" He knew once she called him by his official status she was serious.

"Fine Haww! I promise. Now hurry!" Miriallia run through the mysterious door. As soon as she did the door closed. Yzak turned on his communicator " _Haww stay safe. For Ava."_ She didn't respond but he knew she got the message. He quickly ran off into the other room. There tied up they found all 20 missing ZAFT soldiers. Some appeared to be injured. Others seemed to be going through mental breaks… but they all seemed to be alive. One by one they started to untie them. Those that could move on their own began leaving the mansion without help from his men while the injured were carried out.

"I can't believe it kid… we actually found them alive"

"Haww will be relieved" Yzak said as he started to carry one of the injured female soldiers out of the building.

Miriallia ran down the long hall. Soon she came to a large white room. There was no doorways except the one she entered though. It seemed cold and sterile. In the middle of the floor was a large hole. It seemed to go down at least ten feet and was about eight feet in diameter. She began to wonder what was down there but she didn't have time. On the other side of the room was the horrible man she pursued and a single computer.

"So we finally met face to face" Mir held her gun up ready to shoot. "Miriallia Haww, the war photographer. Ensign Haww of the ARCHANGEL. Commander Haww co-leader of Operation Freeing Humanity. Governor Haww of Harmonix. It doesn't really matter what they call you. What honors they give you. It doesn't change the fact that you breed with a coordinator." He reached down toward his keyboard. Mir fired a single warning shot. It skidded across his hand. He barely flinched.

"Tell me why! Why did you do all this. Years of torturing and killing coordinators. Why? For what!"

"He cried for you" he said suddenly changing the subject "Begged really. As he laid there dying all he wanted was his little natural girl. But you weren't there were you. No instead you were in the PLANTs probably gossiping with your little friends about how he was your true love. Meanwhile he was hanging there bleeding to death"

Mir was blind with rage at his words ran forward. She stood a few feet from the hole. "You BASTARD" She yelled. She began firing like crazy. Donald quickly took cover and before long Miriallia heard the horrible noise that indicated she was out of bullets. She was filled with fear as he pulled his gun out towards her. He reached over and pressed a button on the keyboard. Sirens began to ring out in the building while a computerized voice made the most disturbing announcement.

"SELF DESTRUCT SYSTEM ACTIVATED! DETONATION IN TEN MINUTES!"

"What the hell are you doing" She asked.

"I know what is out there. The full force of the three councils are waiting for me. BLUE COSMOS is done. So I'm going down with the ship and taking you down with me." He said before shooting at her. She tried to dodge his shots but she was clipped in the legs and shoulder, while another just barely grazed her cheek. She fell hard to the ground. The wind knocked out of her. Her communicator slide a couple of feet from her body.

" _HAWW! HAWW! Do you read me. Answer me"_ she heard Yzak beg over the communicator. " _You need to get out of there now! The whole place is going to blow… MIRIALLIA! Please respond! DAMMIT… I can't lose you too!"_

Desperate she reached over to answer but before she could grab the device he shot and destroyed it. "Tell me Miriallia Haww… Have you only ever had sex with a coordinator" She looked over towards the man she hated with disgust. He was beginning to undo his belt with one hand making sure to keep the gun pointing at her with the other. "By the look on your face I'd say I'm right. He poisoned you against your own kind. A terrible thing really. You've never felt what it was like to have a real man inside you. You've got seven minutes left in this life. Just enough time to get a taste for what you should have had all along."

He walked towards her continuing to undo his pants. Mir knew exactly what he wanted to do to her. She tried to stand up but with her leg injures it was hard to stay stable. When he was right in front of her she tried to use her self defense training to protect herself. Unfortunately for her her injuries hindered her enough that she fell back down to the ground. He pushed himself down onto of her. He pressed the gun against her head and with the other hand he pulled off her underwear. "For our pure and blue world" he said looking at her, feeding of her fear and hate. Mir continued to struggle. She didn't want it to end like this. She couldn't. Only a few minutes left in her life and it was really going to end like this?

He tried spreading her legs wide but the pencil skirt of her uniform prevented it. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small knife. He used it to cut slits in each side of her skirt before throwing it down into the mysterious hole. He forced himself in between her legs. She squeezed tightly to prevent him from getting any closer. Her eyes looked up at the countdown clock, five minutes. She just had to hold him off for five more horrible minutes. Her heart was pounding. She was terrified. Her legs started to give out. She could feel that his member was so close to being inside her, and there was nothing she could do about it.

He started to inch closer. Soon his tip would be inside and it would be all over for her. Tears rushed down her face. She started to think about Dearka to try and calm herself down. She started to think about all the good times she had with him and the bad. That's when she remembered _it_. The knife. She looked down at her leg. She couldn't reach it now but if she could if she made one adjustment… then just maybe. She took her leg and wrapped it around his waist. "I knew you couldn't resist a real man" he said feeling her draw him closer. But in truth she was pulling something else closer. She grabbed the knife from her leg and quickly in one swift motion stabbed him below the heart. She quickly pushed him off her and grabbed his gun from him.

She slid herself to the edge of the hole and watched as Donald laid dying on the ground. He was slowly bleeding out. Coughing up blood. "I hope you suffer" She spat through her tears. He just laid there laughing. Satisfied he could move anymore Mir turned to look down the hole. Curiosity had gotten the best of her. What could have been so important that he would have kept way down here? She couldn't believe it, her eyes opened wide with shock. Tears began falling like waterfalls.

"MIRIALLIA!" She heard Yzak yell but she didn't react. Yzak was horrified by the sight. He saw Donald laying there bleeding to death with a knife sticking out of his chest. Close beside the man Yzak saw what was clearly woman's underwear. Mir skirt appeared to be sloppily slit open on each side. She was bleeding in several places. He could tell she was crying. Her communicator was in several pieces not far from her. He wanted to comfort her, but there wasn't time. He looked up at the countdown clock. Less than three minutes remained. He ran over to the computer and began typing like crazy to try to deactivate the self destruct system.

"Come on you piece of shit!" He yelled at the computer. Finally with only 20 seconds remaining he heard the best sound in the world.

"SELF DESTRUCT SYSTEM DEACTIVATED! DETONATION ABORTED!"

Relieved he turned to look at his friend. She was covering her mouth in horror. He couldn't help but think she had just be violently raped by the man she hated most. He walked over and knelt beside her. Her eyes were filled with shock. He placed his hand on her shoulder trying to comfort her. Feeling his hand on her shoulder her head whipped around to look at him. "Miriallia… It's all over now. We won" he tried to assure her in as soft and sweet voice he could manage.

"It can't be" she cried "IT JUST CAN'T BE HIM!" he looked at her strangely with sadness in his eyes. Her eyes moved down to look down the large hole. She began sobbing uncontrollably.

Yzak's eyes soon followed as well looking down the large hole. "No! It… it's impossible!" His eyes were opened wide with shock now too. Down the hole was a single wired military issued folding bed. A toilet and sink were on the opposite side. Next to the bed was a small table that had several uneaten meals. But the thing that surprised them most was the shirtless man lying unconscious or possibly dead in the middle of the floor. He was cover in bruises and scars. He was skinny from starvation. There were some signs of dehydration as well. But perhaps the most disturbing thing was his long wavy blond hair and tanned complexion. "D...Dearka?" He gasped in horror.

For five year they thought he was dead. They held a funeral for him, countless memorial services. There was a fountain with his name engraved on a plaque. His ashes were supposedly on Yzak's mantel. He missed the birth of his child, her first steps, her first words. Everything. This whole time he had been here. Trapped at the bottom of a hole, having who knows what done to him.

Hearing laughter behind him Yzak turned. Donald Rowe was still holding onto life. "My favorite little play toy. Too bad you didn't get here a week ago. He was still so full of hope back then… now he's just a broken piece of trash" He said laughing an evil demented laugh.

Yzak stood up grabbing his communicator from his belt. "La Fllga do you read me"

" _I read you. How is Miriallia?"_

Yzak ignored his question and got straight down to business. "I need you to send down Yamato and Zala immediately. As well as three stretchers and medical teams to deal with trauma, both physical and mental."

" _Kid what is going on?"_

"There is no time to explain just do as I say!" he barked back. Yzak looked down at Miriallia. She was devastated. He could tell a million thoughts were going through her head. He knelt back down beside her. He put his hands on the gun she was lightly holding in her hand and took it away. He wanted so badly to ask what that man did to her, but he didn't know if he could handle hearing it. He promised his friend a long time ago that he would protect her. Now looking at her he felt like a failure. "Haww…" He said softly. "Yamato and Zala are going to be down he in a minute. I need you to stay strong" Silently she looked at him. He could tell she wanted to know where he was going. But she was too broken hearted to ask. "I'm going down there." He said motioning his head towards the hole. "I need to confirm his ID, and find out if he is alive"

Miriallia nodded. She was terrified. She knew exactly who that man was. For her there was no need to confirm ID. For hours she had the feeling she would see Dearka again. She thought that meant she was destined to die today. Now looking down in that hole she knew her instincts were right, but the results were so different. It seemed impossible. But the truth was something always seemed off about his death. It never seemed right and not from a moral standpoint.

Yzak looked down the deep hole. Just one jump stood between him and finding out the truth. He took a deep breath before jumping down into the hole. He walked a couple of feet and knelt down beside the man. He could see the man's chest slowly going up and down. He was faintly breathing but it was enough. Yzak looked at the man's hair. It was so long. It came past his shoulders. He looked up towards the man's forehead. He pushed up his hair exposing his bare skin. There it was. All the proof he needed to positively identify the man. Two scars on the left side of his forehead. Reminders of two important incidences in this man's life. One from when he was stabbed by a girl he would come to love, and another from the day he shared his for kiss with that girl. There was no longer any doubts in his mind "It's Dearka…" He yelled up to his comrade "And he's alive"

She was never more relieved and scared in her life. Suddenly Mir could hear many footsteps approaching them fast. She looked up from the hole to see Kira and Athrun had arrived with help. "Oh my god! Miriallia" Kira yelled as he ran towards his friend. He pulled her into a tight embrace. She started crying hard into his chest. "Where's Yzak?" He asked.

"He's alive" Miriallia cried "this whole time he was alive"

"Mir?"

"No...That's… It impossible" Kira heard Athrun say. Seeing he was looking down the hole he too looked. Everyone was stunned at the sight. They never in their wildest dreams thought they would ever see him again. Captain Dearka Elsman of ZAFT was alive.


	10. Chapter IX: A Tale of Survival

**Chapter IX: A Tale of Survival  
*** March 1st, 74 CE *****

Dearka backed up against the wall. He and his team had just made an attempt to escape and failed miserably. They were able to kill all the guards who and been guarding but new ones quickly took their place. Now guns were pointed in their direction. They were all injured and in no condition to try fighting their way out again.

"Bring me the Captain" One of the guards said. Four soldiers quickly grabbed Dearka. He struggled to get away from them to no avail. They brought him over to the center of the room and began to chain him up. His limbs barely reached. The pain of being stretched was more than he ever imagined it would be. He looked over towards his team. He could tell they were all scared. None of them were trained to deal with this kind of situation. He knew in that moment he needed to try and stay strong for them.

"What do you want with us" Dearka asked in a harsh tone.

The lead guard step forward and grabbed a hold of Dearka's dog tags. "Captain Dearka Elsman of ZAFT" He read before twisting them to choke him. Dearka tried to struggle to get the tags out of the man's hands but it wasn't working. His hands were secured tight in the chains. He felt himself become faint. Hearing the laughter of the BLUE COSMOS members just made him angry. Finally just as he thought he was going to pass out the man released the dog tags. He took several disparate breaths trying to regain his composure.

"You people… you're monsters" he spat under his breath.

"You don't know the half of it. We are going to show you what coordinators truly deserve." He said before he pulled out a knife from belt. He took the knife and cut the young Captain's shirt wide open. He traced the knife lightly down from Dearka's neck to his belly button. "I can't wait to hear you scream" with that he plunged the knife deep into his stomach. He tried to stay focused on anything other than the pain. He couldn't let them hear him scream. He looked at his team. They looked terrified but he knew he needed to stay strong.

He remained tough. This only made the man angrier. He twisted the knife inside Dearka. He couldn't hold it back any longer. He screamed out in pain. He had never felt anything like it before. He had been shot before even stabbed, but no pain he had experienced was ever like this. Slowly the knife was pulled out. He could feel the blood running down his leg and drip off his foot. "Collect it" The man said. Dearka watched as they placed a bowl underneath him. His blood filling it.

" _What the hell are they doing"_ He thought to himself. He wanted to move but his body wouldn't respond. He just hung there motionless. He felt them begin to wrap him in bandages. They moved the bowl of his blood and took it deeper into the cave. "What are you going to do with that?" he asked weakly. The man didn't answer so Dearka decided to try and provoke him "Don't want to answer me fine. But no matter what you do BLUE COSMOS will come to an end. Naturals and coordinators will someday live together in harmony and even fall in love."

He could see how angry he made the man. He ran off to the side of the cave where a box of tools were. There he pulled out a small chainsaw. Dearka was shocked, it was all going to end here with his head being lopped off. His men all closed their eyes while he held his chin up high. It refused to let them see him flinch. He raise the saw up and moved it towards his neck. He was only inches from cutting Dearka's head off when someone stopped him.

"That's enough Evans!" As soon as the lead guard heard this man's voice he stopped. It was Donald Rowe. The new leader of BLUE COSMOS. Dearka didn't know who he was all he knew was that whoever this man was he was obviously someone important. Maybe he was the new leader he thought. "Release him" The guards walked over to the captain and unlocked the chains, letting his body fall hard to the ground. He tried rolling over but the pain was too much. "Bring him into the inner cave" Donald ordered as he walked past heading deeper into the cave. The injured coordinator was picked up and carried into the other part of the cave.

Dearka was forced down onto his knees next to a roaring fire. His eyes darted around the room as he tried to get a lay of the land. He couldn't help but notice one of the enemy soldiers painting on the wall with his blood. What the hell was going on here he wondered.

"Any last words" the Rowe asked as he pressed a gun to Dearka's head.

Dearka smirked his famous smirk "Kill me. It won't stop them. They will come after you."

"They need to find us first!" he replied.

"Days, weeks, months or years it doesn't matter. They will find you. BLUE COSMOS will end"

"It's too bad you won't live to see that day" he said.

Dearka heard laughter. His eyes looked up at the man laughing. It was Evans, the man who had tortured him. "After we kill you I'm going to kill your soldiers one by one. I'll make sure they feel just as much pain as you did" He said before laughing hysterically. Dearka felt an uncontrollable amount of rage build up inside him. Adrenaline was running through his veins. He felt a sudden surge of strength. He leaped up, breaking away from the men holding him down and pushed Evans into the fire "Ahhhhhhh!" He screamed out in pain a horrible blood curdling scream that echoed through the caves.

A gunshot rang out shooting Evans through the head and ending his screaming. The smell of cooking meat soon filled the room. Dearka was forced back down to his knees. "I was going to let you die here. But now I think death is too good for you. I prefer to watch you suffer. You will pay for what you just did." He pulled Dearka's dog tags off from around his neck and threw it into the fire on top of Evans burning corpse. "To ID the body" He said smiling. Dearka tried to struggle but it was futile. Donald pulled a gas mask out of his pocket. "Smoke the place" he said.

Soon the air filled with a thick smoke. Dearka felt faint. Everything seemed to get blurry. He fell down to the ground. He could hear them all laughing a satisfied laugh. They enjoyed his suffering. "Miriallia... I'm sorry" he managed to gasp out before everything went black.

Dearka wasn't sure where he was when he finally came to. He was laying on an uncomfortable wire bed. He looked across the rounded room to see a sink and toilet. " _How long was I out?_ " he thought to himself. He looked down at his bare stomach. He was expecting to see a horrible wound. Instead he was surprised to see an old scar. It was almost like it had been healed for weeks. He was so confused.

"It was a beautiful service really" He heard a man say. The voice sounded like it came from above him. He looked up. That was when he realized he was down several feet into the ground in a large hole. "They even let your father out for the occasion" the man said before throwing a pamphlet down into the hole. Dearka picked it up. He was shocked. It was the program for his funeral. He started to read some of the text. According to it he had been believed dead for over three months. "I guess this means nobody's been to be looking for you _Captain_ Elsman nor will they ever" he said with a smirk on his face.

"What the hell do you plan on doing with me?" he said never taking his eyes off the paper.

"They say ZAFT soldier are trained never to break under pressure. They are trained to deal with interrogations and never give up the information. I just want to see how well trained you really are. I want to see how long you can hold out before you break."

"And in the end you plan on killing me. So why not just get it over with. What the hell is the end game here? You're just going to keep hostage here for as long as it takes?"

"Of course you dieing is how this will all end. Break now and you'll feel the sweet release of death. But not right away. No. I want to see you truly suffer. Your like my little play toy, punishment since you killed one of my best men."

"And you killed many of mine" he replied in disgust.

"All coordinators need to die to preserve our pure and blue world. A single naturals life is worth more than a hundred coordinators" Dearka curled his nose up. This man was a horrible human being "But that doesn't mean I won't sacrifice a natural's life to get what I want."

"What the hell do you mean by that?"

"She's a very pretty young girl. Miriallia Haww from the Orb Union. She's really starting to make a name for herself too, vowing to take down BLUE COSMOS no matter what" Dearka felt panicked. He didn't want this guy to even say her name. How the hell did he even know about her. "I promise you this Captain Elsman, when you break I won't be the one to kill you. You're going to kill yourself. But first I will slit that girls throat in front of you. I'll let you watch her die just barely out of your reach. I'll leave her body there for you to look at. For you to know her blood is on your hands because you couldn't keep you impure hands off her. Then a few days later I'll give you a knife to take you own life. That is the only way this ends."

"You're wrong" Dearka spat. He looked up at Donald Rowe, tears built up in the corners of his eyes. Anger was written all over his face. "There is another possibility. I survive. And I kill you."

"Good luck with that" He said before taking a gun and shooting Dearka in the arm. He looked over to where he was hit. It wasn't and bullet but a tranquilizer dart. He felt his vision start to get blurry before everything went black.

 ***** Present Day - March 27th, 79 CE *****

Miriallia laid in her hospital bed feeling the cold breeze blow in from the window. She still couldn't believe everything that had happened on Earth. They actually had found BLUE COSMOS and brought them down once and for all. But the thing she really couldn't believe was they found Dearka Elsman alive.

She looked down at her still bandaged legs. She frowned at the sight of them. She couldn't help but remember a panicked Yzak ordering the medical team to help her. Insisting they couldn't let her die. It was kind of sweet of him. What she didn't think was so sweet was him ordering a rape kit. She insisted that nothing had happened but after the way he found the two he told her she didn't have a choice. Much to his relief the results came back negative.

Donald Rowe had unfortunately lived. Yzak believed it was a good thing. Maybe they could get some answers from him about the past five years. But Miriallia knew the man was never going to tell them anything. She started to wish she hit him a little higher when she stabbed him. Hit him in the heart, let him feel the pain she had felt for years thinking Dearka was gone. But that wouldn't have changed anything. She would only have his death on her conscience.

"How you feeling today Haww" Yzak asked as he walk in the room. He was holding a large bouquet of wild flowers. She looked at him funny. "They're not from me. Ava picked them out downstairs." he said slightly embarrassed. He handed her the flowers and she smelled them.

"To answer your question I'm doing a lot better. They are releasing later today"

"What! But you're not fully healed!" Starting to head towards the door. He was going to give the doctor a piece of his mind.

"Yzak! Please that's enough! I just want to go home. I'm want to be there when my daughter wakes up and goes to bed at night. I miss it. You can't keep me in here forever." She knew Yzak was dealing with a lot right now. His wife was a little over eight months pregnant, they we taking care of her daughter, he was in charge of managing all the aftermath of BLUE COSMOS without her… then there was Dearka. "How is he?" She asked finally. It was the first time in three weeks she had the courage to ask. Yzak chose never to volunteer any information. He knew when she was ready she would ask.

"How much do you want to know?" He asked taking a seat.

"Everything"

"Are you sure you can handle it?"

"Even if I can't I need to know"

"He woke up about two weeks ago… but just lays there. He hasn't said a word yet. The doctors say there is nothing physically wrong with him to prevent him from talking, so it must be something psychological. When he first arrived they flushed so many drugs out of his system. They think that they kept him asleep most of the time with tranquilizers and other drugs. That's why he was unconscious when you found him. The drugs messed with his nutrition. That's why he looked like he was starving. He hasn't eaten anything since waking up but they are making sure he gets the nutrients he needs. He even managed to gain a couple of pounds."

"How much did they torture him?" she asked never looking at her friend. She was scared to hear the answer.

"We don't know. There doesn't appear to be too much physical trauma. There were signs that he had bones that had broken. But they said it didn't seem to look like from torture. They think it was from him trying to climb out of the hole. You know Dearka. He wouldn't just sit in the hole and behave, he fought tooth and nail to get out. But judging from how he won't speak maybe all the torture was psychological."

"I… I want to see him" Yzak looked at her like she had two heads. She looked back at him with determination to get her way. "He was my boyfriend when he went missing. He is the father of my child. He was the reason for everything I've been for the past five years. I need to see him"

Yzak wanted to refuse her but he knew her enough by now that this was one argument he wasn't going to win. Later that afternoon Mir was released. She changed into some civilian clothes. She wore a pair of white flats and a red halter romper finished of with a white belt. She was gorgeous. "Nice clothes, they seem real appropriate" He said sarcastically noting the length of the clothing. Most of her legs were showing, that is the parts that weren't covered by bandages.

"I can't help what your wife sends me to wears."

"She's too pregnant to reach in the bottom more appropriate drawers." He replied.

"Then stop complaining…" she joked before getting serious "Come on. I'm ready."

They walked down the hall and got into the elevator. A short ride later and they were on Dearka's floor. They walked down the hall, their shoes echoing through the halls. Finally they came to his room. "Are you sure you are ready for this" he asked she nodded her head and walked in the room.

He was just laying there in the bed. He seemed so peaceful as he slept. She had a hard time recognizing him for a second. He was now five years older than the last time she had seen him. His hair hadn't been cut since he was taken captive. It was so long and unruly. His muscles she had once admired weren't as prominent anymore. But most of all his happy smile she had grown to adore was gone. Mir took a few steps closer, accidentally waking the sleeping man. He eyes slowly opened halfway and stared at her. She could finally see the color of his eyes. They seemed glazed over but they were the same violet eyes she had looked into a hundred times.

"Dearka..." She whispered. He didn't look like he knew who she was. But how could he. She kept looking at him pointing out how much he had changed when in reality she had changed to. She was 19 years old when he went missing. Now she had just turned 24 years old. She was a mother and governor of a free colony. Her hair was much longer than it ever was before and much differently styled. Even the clothes she chose to wear now a days was different then the styles she chose five years ago. No… in truth maybe she had changed more than he did.

She slowly walked over and sat down beside him. His eyes followed her as she moved. When she was finally beside him his hand quivered and shook as he reached for the bed controls. He pressed the button and adjusted the bed to a sitting position. He turned his head and stared into Mir's eyes. Yzak was shocked. In the three weeks he had been visiting Dearka never moved a muscle never mind something like this.

"Do… Do you know who I am?" She asked softly. She looked at him begging for a response. Finally he nodded his head _'yes'_. He dropped the controls for his bed and reached his hand out into the empty space between them. She reached out hers out in response and took a hold of his. She felt butterflies fill her stomach. A feeling she hadn't felt in years. She looked down at her lap she was surprised to see tears falling. She didn't even realize she was. She looked up at Dearka. She could have sworn for a second she saw him smile. "You're safe. I promise you are safe… Your home Dearka"


	11. Chapter X: Finding Home

**Chapter X: Finding Home  
*** April 11th, 79 CE *****

Today was finally the day. After five weeks Dearka was coming home. Not that he really had a home. It had been five long years since he was part of society. Five long years he was thought to be dead. He still knew nothing of what he had left behind in those days. He had no idea that Ava existed. Miriallia thought it was best not to tell him. Dearka was like a zombie. He hadn't really made any reactions to anything since he saw Miriallia walk into his hospital room for the first time. She visited him a few more times after that but he didn't react. Almost like she wasn't even there. He still wasn't eating but the doctors agreed the hospital wasn't the type of place he should be in anymore. It was too much like the white sterile room he was found in.

Yzak was nervous bringing him home. He didn't really know what to expect. All he knew was Miriallia forced him to promise not to tell him about his daughter. She didn't think he was ready. He was still adjusting to everything. Even the light of outside seemed like a lot for him to handle right now. Shiho on the other hand believed Dearka deserved to know. He had the past five years of his life ripped away from him. He lost so much time with his child. They had no right stealing more away from him. He was torn about what to do. But he knew it was time he made a decision. Listen to the woman he promised he would protect, or Listen to his wife and the mother of his unborn child.

The whole car drive was spent in silence. It was nothing like driving with Dearka in the past. He used to always try to crank the music while Yzak would alway try to fight him to turn it off. But this time Dearka's hand never moved towards the radio ever. It was sad, for once in his life driving with his friend he missed the music fight. A few times he even thought about turning it up for old time sake but decided against it. The young Captain just sat there eyes watching the scenery as they drove.

Yzak felt an uncontrollable sadness for his friend. The pain of losing his best friend was nothing compared to the pain his friend had been though. He probably didn't know if he would ever get out of there. The fear of it all must have been overwhelming. Dearka had always been strong. He made it through two wars. He survived countless long battles. He thrived as a prisoner of the ARCHANGEL. But maybe that had more to do with the fact that he fell in love as a prisoner. Miriallia was like a ray of light in Dearka's life. She was the only one to make him react. But even with the hope Mir gave him and strength he always had, maybe this….. this was just too much.

Yzak could tell his friend was confused looking out the window of the car. He felt the urge to explain where they were. "Did they tell you where we are?" He asked receiving no reaction, only silence. "I take that as a no." Still nothing. "Then let me be the first to welcome you Dearka... To Harmonix" Yzak looked over briefly. Much to his surprise Dearka was looking at him. For a moment he saw a glimmer of the old Dearka. The one who used to both pester and calm him. "We found the plans for it on your laptop. It was Shiho who thought we should pursue the idea. Looking back it all came together so fast... There are naturals and coordinators all living together in one colony." He explained. "Oh and there's one more thing... Miriallia and I are the governors." He said proudly as he pulled into his driveway.

The two men got out of the car. Dearka stood there admiring the building he had designed many years ago. It was better than he ever imagined it would be. He was going to be staying with Yzak, but he knew just on the other side of the building was Miriallia. He looked at the three doors. Two of them were plain dark stained wood doors. But the door on the left was a beautiful sunny yellow. It was her door. It showed off everything he once loved about her. Even in the darkest times she seemed to hold onto a bit of light and happiness.

"Dearka…" Yzak said nervously as he walked in front of the former Captain to look him in the eyes. "There are somethings I need you to know before you walk in that door. First is that… I'm married… to Shiho Hahnenfuss." He could see that he was surprised. "I married her 7 months after you… went missing. You were right all along. She is perfect. I've never been so comfortable with anyone in my life. From the moment I first met her she never has lead me wrong… that is why I need to tell you something else. Something much more important than my current marital status. I don't know if you are ready for this but my wife is right. We have no right keep any secrets from you. Whatever happened to you in the past five years I know must have been horrible. But that doesn't mean we should keep you from living your life now." He placed his hand on Dearka's shoulder a squeezed slightly. "Come on... There is someone I think you should meet."

He started to walk up the stairs. Soon Dearka began following. He seemed even more confused than before. But with the vague details Yzak gave him anyone would be. They both stopped in front of the door on the far right side. Yzak hesitated before putting his hand on the doorknob. He still wasn't sure he was making the right choice. But he also knew his wife had never steered him wrong before.

"Are you ready for this?" He asked. He didn't receive much of any reaction. But he decided to take that as a yes. Yzak opened the door and they both walked in. They could hear the sweet voice of a little girl. She was talking and giggling as she spoke with someone. As soon as the door shut she stopped. Before to long she appeared standing in the doorway staring at the two men who just entered. She didn't look scared or shy but she didn't speak. She just stood there in silence looking up at the blonde haired man who had walked in. She didn't even pay attention to the silver haired coordinator. She was used to seeing him, but this other man she had never seen him before.

Dearka stared back at the little girl. He couldn't believe his eyes. Somehow looking at her it all made sense. This small child was the one Yzak thought he should meet. This little girl was the most perfect human being he ever saw. She had long straight blond hair that was pulled back into two braids that reached halfway down her back. Her skin was a bit of a lighter tanned color then his own. Her eyes however reminded him of the eyes of the woman he loved. They were the perfect mix of blue and green. Looking at her he knew exactly who she was to him. Exactly what he had truly left behind when he went missing.

Seeing Ava take off towards the door Shiho slowly followed. She was ready to pop any day now so it was a bit hard for her to move around. She walked to the doorway to look at the people who arrived. She was surprised to see who it was. They weren't due back for another hour. Miriallia was suppose to pick up Ava before Dearka ever arrived. Mir didn't want Ava and Dearka to meet… Not yet. She didn't know if either of them were ready. A small smile appeared on her face. Yzak chose to listen to her instead of their friend. She was happy.

"Daddy?" they heard the little girl asked much to their surprise. She tilted her head to the side as she looked up at the man. He looked familiar to her suddenly. He looked like the man in the picture hanging in her room. The picture of the man that always made her mother tear up. Her face began to light up with a happy smile that went ear to ear. She ran up to him and grabbed his hand. It felt so strange to Dearka to hold a hand so small. "Daddy come play with me!" She squealed as she started to pull him into the other room.

With her pulling on his hand he didn't have much of a choice. He started to follow her. When he passed Shiho he couldn't help but stare at her huge belly. The last time he saw her she was the obedient lieutenant of Yzak Joule. Now she was his very pregnant wife of over four years. So much had changed since he left. It was all hard to wrap his head around. Ava stopped pulling his hand when they reached the living room. "Sit Daddy!" She instructed as she tapped the floor with her hand.

Yzak and Shiho watched from the doorway as Dearka sat on the floor. He kept his eyes focused on the little girl in front of him. "Yzak are you sure you're making the right choice? Miriallia is going to be furious" Shiho whispered to her husband.

"He needs this." He whispered back.

Ava reached over to her little music player and clicked a button. Music started to fill the room. "Ok daddy, we are going to play audience and dancer. You play audience and I can be the dancer. Ok? Good" She said cheerfully before starting to dance. It was one of the worst dances Dearka had ever seen in his life. But it didn't matter the girl was so happy moving around. When the song ended she bowed. Then she turned of the music and reached for one of her cookies that was on the coffee table. She walked over to her father, breaking the large cookie in half she held one piece out to the man in front of her. "Snack time Daddy" She said.

Dearka just stared at her for a few seconds before reaching up and taking the cookie from her. He held it in his hand feeling the chocolate chips melting under his fingers. Ava quickly put her cookie in her mouth and chewed it. She made so many ' _mmmm'_ sounds as she ate it.

She looked at her father with a strange look on her face. She was done her cookie but he still hadn't taken a bite. She walked over to him. She was only about six inches from him now. She broke a piece off and slide it into his mouth. "Chew daddy" she said. He soon listened and began to chew and then swallow the small piece of snack. It was delicious. Before he knew it himself he ate the entire rest of the cookie in his hand. His daughter beamed with happiness, while Yzak and Shiho looked on in shock. It was the first piece of real food he had eaten since being rescued. Maybe this was the right decision after all they both thought.

Dearka watched his little girl. She was so happy moving around the room. It filled him with a joy he never felt before. He never thought he would feel joy or happiness again. He never thought he would see the light of day again. There was so many things he thought he would never see or feel again. He had often found himself wishing for death. The things he went through, it made him wish it would just all end. But now looking at her, he knew why he survived. He lived to someday meet her. It was his destiny to meet the girl he created with the one woman he loved most.

Ava walked over to the bookshelf and pulled out a large photo album. It seemed heavy. She started to bring it over, it dragged on the floor as she walked. Dearka leaned forward and reached his hands out. She handed him the book and he leaned back against the couch. Before long Ava was sitting down on his lap and getting comfy as she opened the book to the first page. The two onlookers were so surprised. Dearka was actually moving around and reacting to things. They watched as he wrapped his arm around the little girl.

"This is my mommy" she said as she pointed to a picture of Miriallia. She was wearing a Orb uniform that had been altered to fit a pregnant belly. "This is me!" she exclaimed pointing to the round belly. She pointed to and explained each and every picture in the book. It was so strange to hear her say ' _Unkie Yzak'_ and ' _Auntie Shiho'_. Maybe just as strange as it was to hear her say daddy. She seemed so intellegente for her age. Dearka estimated her to be a bit over 4 years old. She was so full of life and energy. She looked up at him. "Mommy said you were gone. Bad people took you away"

He kissed her on the forehead and closed the photo album. Placing in on the ground he pulled his child into a tight hug. She hugged him back. She yawned big and cuddled in. He could see she was starting to fall asleep. He put one hand behind himself onto the couch to pull them both up. Keeping the other one tightly wrapped around his girl. He fixed the pillows and laid his head down. He decided he needed a nap too. They both closed their eyes and soon drifted off into a deep sleep.

Yzak and Shiho decided to take a seat on the other couch. They watched the two sleeping soundly. "I haven't seen him look this calm sleeping in forever" Yzak said softly.

"He almost looks happy" she replied.

The father and daughter couple had been sleeping for almost fifeteen minutes before someone new walked in the house. Hearing the door close Yzak felt the nerves creeping up. He knew who just arrived. It was time to face the music. "Shiho? What is Yzak's car still doing here?" The young woman questioned as she entered the quiet living room. She saw her two friends sitting on the couch. Neither one looking in her direction. They were avoiding eye contact. She looked at them with one eyebrow lifted. "What is up with you two? Yzak shouldn't you have left a few minutes ago?" she asked. "Where's Ava?" She looked around the room before turning and seeing where she was.

Much to her surprise her little girl was in her father's arms. They were cuddling and sleeping on the couch. For years Miriallia wished to see this sight but never thought she would. Dearka was dead. It was what all possibilities lead to. Never in her wildest dreams did she ever think she would see him again. She never thought her daughter would meet her father. She never thought Dearka would ever know Ava existed. But here they both were happy in each other's embrace.

"I'm sorry Haww. Shiho was right. He lost so much time with her already. We have no right to take anymore of that time away from them."

She kept her eyes on her two loves. "How did you explain it to her? Who he was? How exactly did you tell him?"

"We didn't need to." Yzak stated "They just knew. I think he needs her. She actually got him to eat something. Nobody has been able to do that yet."

"It shouldn't be her job to make him better. She's four years old Yzak." She said turning towards him.

"I never said it was, but you should see the way she looks at him. She loves him. She knew right away who he was when he walked in. We never told her anything she just started calling him daddy. I've never in the five weeks since his rescue seen him react to much of anything, but he reacts to her."

"They are not ready for this" she said, her voice quivering.

"They aren't or you aren't?" He said coldly.

"What does that mean" she snapped back.

"You've barely visited him. Even after you were released from the hospital. Are you that afraid of him?"

"Yzak..." She started.

"Don't Yzak me!" He yelled as he stood up "Why Haww? You say you loved him! But the whole time he was laying in that hospital bed you stayed away from him! Why else could it be other than you are afraid to see him!"

"So what if I am! It is all my fault! I gave up on him. I thought he was dead. I let our child grow up thinking she would never see him. I have the right to be afraid and ashamed. I'm terrified of what he might have been through because we failed to identify the real person who died in those flames. We still don't know who that person was!" She yelled through her tears.

"that's enough out off both of you" Shiho said from the couch. She had a strange look on her face. One Yzak remembered much too clearly. "You're going to wake them up. Let them sleep. You two can fight about this someplace else"

"Shiho are you ok?" Her husband asked concerned. "You look like you're in pain"

"I'm fine. Just some indigestion"

He reached down for her hand. "You're nine months pregnant. I'm not taking my chances" He said before slowly pulling her to her feet. He looked towards Miriallia "I'm taking her to the hospital. We can continue this discussion when I get back."

"Yzak… really I'm fine. You're just worrying about nothing" She insisted. "Besides we can't just leave Miriallia here with Dearka. It's not fair to her."

Mir looked at her friends. She could see Yzak was very worried about his wife. She could also see that Shiho was indeed in a lot of pain. The baby's due date was in two days. There was no doubt in her mind that her friend was going to give birth before then. "Shiho go. I'll be fine. They are just sleeping. If it really is nothing you two will most likely be home before they wake. And if not you having a safe birth is more important the my insecurities."

"Mir.."

"Just go"

"Thanks Haww" Yzak said before walking his wife towards the door. Miriallia followed and helped Shiho into the car. "I'll call to let you know what is going on…" He looked away from her. He never was one who liked to admit when he was wrong. "I'm sorry about the whole Ava and Dearka thing. I had no right to introduce them."

"You're her Godfather and Dearka's best friend. You were just looking out for their best interest. I'm the one who was stupid thinking I should keep them away from each other. Go take care of your family" she looked back at the building behind her "I need to go take care of mine." He nodded. She took a few steps back and then watched him drive off. She was scared. Inside were the two loves of her life. She should have been happy knowing they we together, but she Dearka… she knew there was no way he was the same as the man she use to know.

She walked back into the house and into the living room. She checked and they were both still fast asleep. Even her short spat with Yzak didn't seem to wake them. She smiled to herself before starting to clean up the mess Ava had made in her friend's home. As she picked up the various things she noticed the album on the floor. She picked it up and began looking through it. She couldn't help but remember how lost, scared and heartbroken she was in those days. So many pictures filled the album, but not one was taken by her.

Photography was her passion. It was a hobby of hers back in the days Tolle was still alive. She almost lost her desire for it after his passing. It was Dearka who told her she was crazy to give it up. On their first coffee date back when she was only 16 years old he told her if it was her passion she needed to follow it wherever it may take her. Whether it was running a small studio or traveling the world. Back then she never dreamed of travelling the world. It was all because of his belief in her that she ever tried. He, in so many ways, made her the woman she was today. But… it was also because of him that she hadn't touched a camera in five years. When she walked into the cave that she thought he had taken his last breath in she lost it. She lost every bit of passion and desire for photography. Her love for it died with Dearka. Not even Ava could resurrect that passion.

She closed the book, setting it aside she watched them sleeping. It wasn't long before she started to feel her eyes get heavy. She tried to fight the urge but soon she too drifted off into a deep sleep. She slowly started to wake up some time after. The aroma in the room was intoxicating. It smelled like freshly cooking food. Slowly she opened her eyes. She was horrified to see Dearka and Ava were both gone. She jumped to her feet and started to search the house. She was frantic. Before long she made her way into the kitchen to see the strangest sight. Their standing in front of the stove was Dearka. He appeared to be cooking. Ava was sitting patiently at the breakfast table coloring in her book.

"Mommy!" She yelled when she noticed her mother in the doorway. Dearka didn't seem to make much of a reaction. He just kept cooking. "Unkie Yzak called"

Mir decided to ignore the man who was cooking and focus on her little girl. "Did he now. How is Shiho doing?" She asked smiling.

"She's going to have her baby!"

"How exciting!" She said giggling. She heard the crashing of plates. She looked over to see Dearka putting the food on three different plates. Two large and one small. He then took a knife and began cutting up the food a bit on the small plate. He walked over to the water cooler and filled three glasses. Soon he started handing the two girls some placemats and utensils. Mir quickly took them from him and set the table. Dearka brought over the food. He placed the small plate in front of Ava.

"Thank you Daddy" He smiled in response and gave her a kiss on the top of the head. He then placed the plate in front of Mir. He looked her in the eyes. He already knew she didn't want him to meet their daughter. She had every right to keep him from her. He was torn and damaged. He struggled to find words to speak. He wanted more then anything for things to be normal with them. He wanted to find home with her. But so much had happened he wondered if he ever would.

He placed his plate on the table before sitting down. He looked at Ava and nodded. She picked up her fork and began to eat. Soon both her parents followed. It was the first meal they shared together. Not only that but it was the first meal Dearka had eaten in a very long time. For a moment they were all able to forget the truth. The truth of everything that had happened. Instead they were just a family sitting down to supper, in a place where they all felt like home.


	12. Chapter XI: Being A Family

**Chapter XI: Being A Family  
*** April 12th, 79 CE *****

Miriallia woke up the next morning to the strangest sensation. It was one she hadn't felt in years. She opened her eyes slowly. She smiled to herself seeing his tanned arm wrapped around her waist. Dearka was sleeping in her bed with her. It seemed like the only logical choice given the circumstances. He was suppose to be staying at the Joule's but with Shiho going into labor the idea was quickly axed. Mir didn't feel right staying at their place nor did she feel right leaving Dearka there alone. Which left one option, bring him home with her. Unfortunately for her she had never gotten around to furnishing the other three bedrooms in the house which meant Dearka needed to share her bed.

For a moment she was filled with an overwhelming happiness. It felt like the many mornings back in their teens when they would wake up in each others arms. Everything seemed perfect. Until finally it all flooded back to her. Him leaving on the mission. His presumed death. Years of her being alone to raise their child. Her searching for years to find BLUE COSMOS to get revenge. Discovering the truth, Dearka was alive all along. The truth seemed too good to be true. It was his body, but was he really still in there somewhere.

She was so lost in her own thoughts she almost jumped out of her skin when he started to move. He got out of bed and stared at her a minute. He then walked over to look in the mirror beside her. He was just in his boxers. Every scar on his body was so visible right now. She watched as he traced the scar on his abdomen. The place where he was stabbed for his blood to be collected. Mir rolled onto her side and watched him look at himself. It was almost like he didn't know the person reflecting back. She began to wonder when was the last time he saw himself?

He took a deep breath and then headed into the bathroom. He closed the door and locked it. Mir couldn't help but be a bit worried. Soon though she heard the water running in the shower and felt a bit of relief. She knew he would be in there a while so she decided to call Yzak to see how they were making out. Hopefully she was and aunt by now. She picked up her phone and began to dial Yzak's cell. It rang a few times before finally he picked up.

" _Why you up so early Haww?"_ He questioned as soon as he answered. She always did hate calling him. There was no small talk when it came to Yzak Joule, it was always getting straight down to business.

"Any news on the baby front?" she asked in excitement.

" _He was born a few hours ago"_ He answered proudly " _A whopping 8lbs. We named him Vero, it means 'great hero'"_

Mir smiled to herself. She knew he was excited to be a father, even if he wouldn't admit it. "That's a perfect name for the little guy. How is Shiho doing?"

" _She is doing good. She is resting now, but she should be coming home in a day or two… And how is Dearka."_

"He actually ate a meal last night. Not only that but cooked it himself."

" _How do you think he is doing mentally?"_

"I'm not sure. He seems himself sometimes… then other times he just seems lost."

" _Just make sure you don't leave him alone"_

"..." She was nervous to respond. Dearka had been in the shower by himself now for a while. She didn't think it was a big deal but Yzak had her worried. "What do you mean by that? I can't be on top of him every minute of the day"

" _I know that… Just make sure he doesn't do anything stupid. What he has been through was terrible. I wouldn't want him to decide to end it and no one being there to stop it"_

"Roger that Commander Joule." She said playfully she didn't want him to her the uncertainty in her voice. Hearing that shower shut off she decided it was time to get off the phone "Give Vero a big kiss from me. I can't wait to meet the little guy. But I should go now and wake up Ava."

" _Right see you later Haww"_ She hung up the phone and set it aside. She looked down at her clothes. She was still wearing her PJs. She got up and walked over to her dresser. She smiled looking down at the wrinkled old photo laying their. It was the one Dearka use to take with him into every battle. His good luck charm. She still wondered if it was truly good luck or not. He was alive but in what capacity? Would he really ever be the same again? She pulled open her top dresser drawer and pulled out a teal mini skirt and a lace button up tank top. She put on some fresh panties before getting dressed.

She undid the braid in her hair and picked up her brush. Slowly she brushed each and every tangle out before putting it back in it's long braid. It had become a daily ritual for her. Everyday she would get up, get dressed, do her hair and then go wake up Ava. The stability of it all brought her comfort. But today was different. Today there was a man in her shower. A man who only a little over five weeks ago she thought was dead. She waited impatiently for him to come out of the bathroom. It had been a while since the water had shut off and she began to really worry. Yzak's request for her not to leave the man alone began echoing in her head.

Finally his words in her head stopped when she heard the door open. She swung around to look at him emerging only to have a blush cover her face. He was completely naked as he emerged. He had the towel on his head drying his hair. He stopped and looked up at her. She was beautiful he thought to himself. A devilish smirk came across his face. A smirk she knew oh too well. He threw the towel to the floor. Her eyes opened in surprise. He had cut his hair. It was no longer long and unruly. Instead it was the hair she always remembered him having. The same haircut he had the day he left for Earth.

He walked up to her. She felt her heart pounding out of her chest. It was the first time he really looked like himself. He pressed his damp naked body against her. He looked her deep in the eyes before leaning in and kissing her. She quickly melted into the kiss. It was an indescribable feeling to have his lips on hers once again. She had wanted it for so long but never thought she would. The kiss became intense faster than it had ever before. It wasn't long before he was reaching up her shirt and pulling her underwear down. She kicked them off to the side and continued to focus on the man in front of her.

He reached his hand up and unbuttoned her top one button at a time. He opened it up wide and kissed her from her neck down to her breasts. He admired her breasts, he couldn't help but notice that they were different. Obviously having a child had changed them. He playfully licked one and heard her moan. He then began to kiss her once again before picking her up and laying her on the bed. He kissed her once again from her neck to breasts, down to her belly button and to her thighs. He gently pulled her legs apart and kissed both her thighs. He looked up at her and smirked. Suddenly she knew exactly what he was doing. He was picking up where he left off, just like he promised he would.

He leaned his head down and licked inside her. She moaned with pleasure. His tongue gracefully moved and played around as her body twitched. She didn't know how much more she could take until finally he stopped. She laid there breathing hard on the edge of exploding. He walked into the bathroom and gargled some mouthwash before returning. He smirked at her before positioning himself between her legs. He was ready to take her when he noticed she looked a little scared.

It was then he finally noticed the bullet shaped scars on her legs and the faint scar on her cheek. He looked at her concerned. She smiled a weak smile at him before gently pushing him down onto his back. Having him on top of her did scare her a bit. It reminded her too much of almost being raped by one of the worst men in existence. But that didn't change how much her body ached for him. She pulled herself on top of Dearka. She whipped her shirt off across the room. Slowly she slid him inside herself. She could see in his face her wanted this as bad as her.

She rocked herself back and forth in a smooth motion. She tried to keep her moans to a minimum. But that was impossible the moment Dearka took hold of her hips and took control. It had been too long since she had experienced anything like this. Too long for both of them. It wasn't long after that their moans subsided and Miriallia came crashing down on the bed next to him fully satisfied. He pulled her in close. She rested her head on his chest and he wrapped his arm around her. He ran his fingers up and down her naked back. It was their old ritual. They would make passionate love and then cuddle close together. The only difference was they use to have these long amazing conversations afterwards, but now all there was was silence.

Mir started to miss Dearka now more than she really had ever before. He looked like himself but he wasn't. He was damaged. Parts of him were still there, she knew they were. But was his soul that she loved so much still there? The man who convinced her they were destined to be together. The man who vowed he would build a colony, even a cluster of colonies to be with her. Just to be given a chance. Was he really still in there somewhere?

She watched as he sat up. He reached over and traced his finger on one of her bullet scars on her leg. It had barely just healed and he could tell. He looked at her with so much concern on his face. It worried him that she had been shot. But what worried him more was how scared she was when he was on top of her. He wanted to ask, but couldn't find the words. He got up out of bed and gathered her clothes. He kindly handed them to her before heading to the suitcase that Yzak had left for him. He began to get dressed so Miriallia decided to follow suit. She quickly dressed and then sat on the edge of the bed watching him put on his pants. She felt like she needed to explain everything about that day.

"I was shot by the man who kept you captive" She admitted. He looked at her like she had two heads. He was shocked and she could also see he was angry. "I shot at him in rage and missed. Unarmed he fired back. I wasn't able to dodge the bullets completely and was hit. But they were just grazes. I spent a few weeks in the hospital for precautionary reasons before being released." She tucked her hair behind her ear. Just like she use to always do when she spoke with him. "Actually the day I got out was the first time I visited you." She smiled at him. He weakly smiled back. She was about to continue talking when there was a knock at her bedroom door.

She looked towards the door with a strange look on her face before walking over. Dearka finished get dressed by putting on a shirt and Mir opened the door. Dearka wasn't surprised when he saw Miriallia kneel down to be at eye level with their little visitor. "I'm hungry" said their little four year old as she rubbed her eye. She still looked half asleep in her PJs.

"Well lets go downstairs and get you something to eat" She said lovingly before standing up and taking hold of her hand. "You coming Dearka?" She asked looking in his direction. He nodded and followed. They walked down the hall and down the large staircase. Soon they were in the kitchen. Mir sat Ava in her seat while Dearka opened the fridge. Just like the night before he began to cook for the two girls in his life. He seemed so calm and relaxed cooking.

"Mommy can we play at the park today?"

"The park? When have you ever been to the park?" She asked confused. The last time she had taken Ava there she had been only six months old. She used to visit it everyday with her daughter. She would go look at the memorial fountain and remember her lost love. But it became too hard for her and she stopped visiting the park all together.

"Autie Shiho takes me."

"Well… I guess we can, if your father wants to go" She said looking up at Dearka as he handed them their plates. He looked at Ava and smiled nodding his head.

"YAY!" she yelled excitedly.

The three of them finished breakfast before too long and then began getting ready for the park. Dearka watched as Mir went over a checklist to make sure she had everything. She packed snacks, juice boxes, various toys, and a first aid kit. She looked satisfied she had everything and prepared for them to leave but Dearka didn't seem ready. "Dearka? Are you coming?" She watched as he walked over to the mantel on her fireplace. There on a pedestal was her camera. The camera she hadn't used in five years. He walked over to her and hung it around her neck. "Dearka… I… " She wanted to tell him that she hadn't taken a picture in years but looking at him she couldn't. Instead she just smiled at him. "Thank you. I almost forgot it."

They walked out to the car. Miriallia helped Ava into her booster seat while Dearka sat down in the passage seat. She could tell he wanted to drive. But he didn't have a driver's license anymore, it had expired years ago. Mir jumped in the driver's seat and they pulled out of the driveway. The whole car drive was filled with the chit chat of Miriallia and Ava. Ava kept telling her parents about everything they could do at the park. And Miriallia kept acting surprised and excited. Soon they arrived at the park and got out of the car.

They walked a while until finally they reached the playset. Dearka took hold of his daughter's hand and they went over to the swings. She sat on one and her father lightly pushed her. Miriallia was filled with such joy watching them. She looked down at her camera. It was moments like this that she used to always want to capture. Moments she would want to remember for a lifetime. She turned on her old friend., she held it up and looked through the viewfinder. She was filled with a nervous excitement as she took a photo. It was her first picture in years, but she knew it wouldn't be her last.

She started to realize in so many ways she was damaged too. The day she walked onto that beach her life was forever changed. The things she saw were engraved in her mind. It haunted her for months even years afterwards. It wasn't just the lost of Dearka. There were 15 sent out on that mission. Two returned to warn them of what happened. Out of those who were left on the island only two still lived Noah Woods, and now recently they found out Dearka survived as well. Noah remained in therapy. He was never trained to handle any kind of situation like that. But then again was Dearka really? Was she crazy to bring him out into the real world so soon? Didn't he need therapy too?

She was broken from her thoughts when she heard the familiar cry of her little girl. Some little boy had pushed her down into the rocks. She felt her heart racing. She didn't know how Dearka was going to react. She quickly ran over to try to handle the situation before something bad could possibly happen. She watched as Dearka leaned down to check on Ava. Seeing she had a scraped knee he turned towards the little boy. Mir feared the worst as she got there. She didn't know what was going to happen next. And she certainly didn't expect what did happen.

"Please…" She heard Dearka say to the little boy. She could tell he was struggling to talk. It was the first words he had spoken in who knows how long. "Tell her you're sorry" Dearka had a very angry look on his face that seemed to scare the boy.

"I...I'm sorry" He said before running off to find his mother.

Dearka picked up his still crying girl and hugged her tightly bouncing her up and down to calm her. He walked with her past the stunned Miriallia and sat her on a picnic table. He leaned down and looked at her knee. He tenderly kissed it, before turning to Mir and taking the first aid kit from her. He opened it up and took out a small bandage. He put it gently on her knee and kissed her on top of her head. "There… all better now" He said. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he held her close.

Mir just continued to watch the two confused. Maybe Yzak was right. Dearka needed Ava. She was the first one to get him to eat. Now she was the first one to get him to speak any words. They were just small sentences but it was enough. "Dearka? Ava? How about we get out of here? We can go see Shiho and Yzak at the hospital." They both nodded. Ava was very excited to go.

They made their way back to the car. This time Dearka helped Ava into her seat before they took off towards the hospital. The car was still only filled with the voices of the two females. Dearka seemed to smile more but still didn't speak again. Soon they arrived at the hospital. Ava grabbed both her parents hands proudly walking in with both them by her side. It wasn't long before they were on the maternity floor. Out in the hall they could see Yzak looking in on his small boy.

"Unkie Yzak!" Ava yelled as she ran up to him, arms wide open for a hug. He looked over towards the newcomers in surprised.

"Hi" He said eyes wide as he knelt down to pick the girl up. He didn't expect to see them. Especially a freshly groomed Dearka.

"We came to see the baby!" The little girl exclaimed.

"They all sleeping you need to be quiet sweety" Mir said gently before turning her attention to the silver hair coordinator. "Sorry to barge in. I was dieing to see the little guy" Miriallia could tell he was staring at her chest area. She was confused at first until she realized he was staring at her camera. "We went to the park. I thought I would get some pictures of Dearka and Ava playing, and of course of little Vero"

Yzak looked at her for a few more seconds before turning and pointing at one of the babies. "He is right there."

"He's big" Dearka said looking through the glass. Yzak couldn't believe his ears. He spoke. He looked at Miriallia who didn't seem surprised. Was he actually making progress?

"Yeah, well great things come in large packages" He boasted.

"Make sure to alway protect him" Dearka said "You're child's life is something worth fighting for. No matter what someone may do to you." They looked at him like he was crazy. What was he talking about. He looked at them and took a deep breath. "I'm ready… to tell everything. To tell everyone about the last five years. I will go before the council and tell my story, for the freedom of all humanity. To finally end all this"


	13. Chapter XII: I Am Dearka Elsman

**Chapter XII: I Am Dearka Elsman  
*** July 12th, 71 CE *****

He was still shaking from what had happen. His best friend Yzak Joule had held him at gunpoint. Part of him felt like he would have shot him. If it was any other soldier he would have. But they had been friends long before the academy. Back in the days his mother was still alive. Maybe that was why he spared him. He could tell his friend started to harbor disgust for him. They had known each other for years. Maybe he could sense that Dearka had more than just compassion for the naturals. Instead one seemed to have a special place in his heart. Yzak would never accept that. Naturals and coordinators, in his eyes, could never be more than enemies.

He was broken from his thoughts of his friend when he heard footstep. Slowly someone walked into the room and sat across from him. They rested their face on their hand and just stared at him. It was _her_. The girl who had stirred up such foreran feelings in him. The young Miriallia Haww. She just seemed to stare at him coldly and free of emotion. Until finally she spoke.

"Don't do that again" She said.

"Uh… What do you mean?" He replied confused.

"I thought you were dead. Don't ever do that to me again."

"Thought you didn't care?"

"Like it or not you're here, which means I care. I care about every life of those here on the ARCHANGEL… So what happened to you out there? I've never seen you so speechless before"

"I don't normally lose my words" He admitted "Only when I'm lost in my own thoughts. My mother used to say it was a coping mechanism. A way for me to figure out what exactly happened. And when I finally do… slowly my words come back."

"So now that your words are back tell me… what happened"

"I ran into the pilot of the DUEL. We had a bit of a verbal confrontation. And then I left"

"Seems like it was more than that from the way you're acting"

"Sometimes details are better left unsaid." He answered trying to brush her off.

"Sometimes the details are all that matter" she replied quickly.

He stood up and headed towards the doorway. Before exiting he turned to get the last word in "Maybe someday I'll want to tell you everything. But today… today I'm just a guy who had a bad day" He smirked at her and nodded once at her before he left.

He didn't want to admit it but he was starting to develop feelings for the girl. It took every bit of self control not to spill about everything. Not that it would hurt him to tell her. But she was a natural. And just like Yzak believed, naturals and coordinators could never live in harmony. Even if he was starting to doubt it himself.

 ***** Present Day - April 19th, 79 CE *****

It had been a week since Dearka had told them he was willing to tell his story. Since then he hadn't spoke a word. They worried that maybe he wasn't ready. But anytime they asked him if he still wanted to go through with it he nodded ' _yes'_. He no longer was staying in Mir's bed. Once Yzak and Shiho returned home he started staying in one of their guestrooms. He didn't try to kiss her again. It was like all affection was gone from him. All except for towards Ava. She was like a ray of light in his life. He made sure to play with her everyday.

Miriallia and Yzak were nervous as they drove Dearka to met with the council. Neither of them knew what was going to happen in that meeting. They didn't know what he was going to say. They wanted to know what happened. They needed to know but also they were terrified. He was their closest companion. For years they were discovering the bodies of men and women taken by the very man who kept him hostage. They could only imagine what he had been though.

It wasn't long before they were in the council building waiting to be called in. Just a few more minutes and the meeting would begin. A few more minutes until they learned everything and would be able to put the mission to a real end. But would it real change things. Would help heal Dearka?

Athrun finally came out "It's time" he announced.

The three of them stood up and headed towards the room. They stood in front of the large council with Dearka in the back out of sight. For Miriallia and Yzak it had become the norm. But for Dearka seeing this many people at once was something he never thought he would again. It was overwhelming. He started to have trouble breathing. He was starting to panic. He started to look towards the exit and saw Miriallia. Suddenly he felt calm. She was here. She would always be there, no matter what. She was his rock. Thoughts of her was what kept him alive for as long as he did. It's what kept him from breaking.

"Today you come before the council to present evidence against BLUE COSMOS." Cagalli stated "Please present the evidence you've gathered"

"The evidence we have to present at this time is testimonial. The testimony of one Captain Dearka Elsman" Yzak said as Dearka walked forward to reveal himself. Everyone seemed shocked to see him. They all knew of his survival, but they also had heard of his condition. "He would like to speak to you all about what he was put through during the past five years."

Dearka stepped forward as Mir and Yzak took a seat next to Athrun in the front. They looked up at him hoping he would find his words again. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He was shaking. He reached in the pocket of his black ZAFT uniform and pulled out a small beaded bracelet that Ava had made him. He ran his thumb up and down the smooth beads. His eyes shot open. He was ready. It was now or never.

He placed the bracelet around his wrist and the saluted the council. "Captain Dearka Elsman of ZAFT." He stated.

"Captain Elsman…" Lacus said cautiously "Please tell us any details you feel comfortable sharing about your experiences over the past five years as a prisoner of the BLUE COSMOS organization."

"It is my understanding I was believed to be dead after human remains were found among ashes. Although that was not I, someone did die in that cave. He burned in a fire. His scream still haunts me in an almost satisfying way. I never got his full name. All I know was they called him Evans. He was the man who tourchered me in front of my team. When I was pulled into a separate area of the cave he threatened to cause my team more pain then I had experienced. Hearing that I felt a surge of energy and I pushed him into the fire. It was then the leader of BLUE COSMOS turned the gun from me to put Evans out of his misery. After that they decided to take me as a prisoner instead. As punishment they wanted to prolong my suffering. Once they decided to keep me alive they smoked the place. But not before removing my dog tags and throwing it on the burning body. They didn't want anyone looking for me."

He walked over to a box that was sitting on the table in front of him. It was a collection of things found in the hole he was kept in. He looked through the box amazed at all the things. He picked something out of the box and laid it on the display projector so that everyone could see it. It was the program from his funeral.

"I woke up an unknown time later. My injuries all healed. It wasn't until my capture, Donald Rowe, presented me with this program that I realized how long it had really been. I was kept in a drug induced coma for over three months. I was given medical attention so I would survive. That is when he told me his new intentions for me." He started to nervously play with his bracelet. He knew the next part was going to be difficult to say. "He wanted to test how well trained a Captain in the ZAFT military was. Test how unbreakable we truly were. He promised when I broke, shortly after my life would end. But there was a catch… He told me I would be taking my own life. Not by force but out of pure desire"

"And why would you take your own life" Cagalli questioned. "What made this man so sure that was how it would end?"

"Because he knew I was in love… with a natural" Dearka answered. "I don't know how, but he knew her name and he knew she was coming after BLUE COSMOS. He told me when I broke I would get to see her again. She would be just barely out of my reach. She would feel the happiness of knowing I was alive… moments before he would kill her in front of me." His voice began to shake. He couldn't even look at Mir. "Then he would leave her there for days. Just the two of us, still out of my reach. Eventually out of mercy he would give me the means to take my life" Everyone seemed horrified at what he just informed them of. The room filled with whispers.

"At any point did he tell how he planned on getting a hold of Miriallia Haww?" Nicolas asked. It had become common knowledge at this point of Dearka and Miriallia's past relationship. Ava made that fact very clear.

Dearka walked over to the box again and pulled out and envelope. He removed the program from the projector and prepared the next piece of evidence. "He never told me how he intended to find her but he proved he was able to get close to her." He placed a small photo onto the projector. Much to everyone's surprise it was an ultrasound picture. "I was given this a month later. It was Miriallia first ultrasound." Mir was shocked. Dearka knew. He knew about his daughter this whole time. For almost as long as she knew. "He told me that I was going to be a father. And promised he wouldn't leave my child an orphan. Instead he would take her life first."

The council was starting to truly see what a horrible man Donald Rowe really was. To threaten the lives of teens and adults was one thing, but the life of an unborn child was a whole different level. They could see Dearka was trying to gather his composure. The room was erupting in whispers of the horrified council. Cagalli slammed down her gavel twice "Please everyone silence" She looked down at Mir. She could tell her friend was distrot. This man was even worst then she had realized. "Captain Elsman… when you are ready please continue."

"I've been told many times that I was missing for five years. But to me it felt like only a couple of weeks maybe months. I was kept drugged most of the time. The times I wasn't sleeping I was either trying to get myself out of that hole or being taken into interrogations. Sometimes they were my own, but most of the times it was other ZAFT soldiers. I attended over one hundred interrogations. Every single one they tried to break the soldiers. Convince them that if they told them the information they wanted they would leave the island. Every single soldier eventually would break. Some it would take three or four interrogations before they would, but they all broke eventually. And when they did he would kill them in front of me."

"What information were able to get?" Lacus asked concerned for the safety of the PLANTs and the peace treaty.

"Nothing worth anything. They asked them ZAFT test questions from the academy. Trying to get them to go against their training."

"And you're interrogations?" She asked.

"Mine were very different. There was a reason I was kept drugged all the time. I needed time to heal. If I wasn't drugged I would keep trying to escape causing massive blood loss. During my interrogations they would cause me physical harm as they did the others. However mine was more severe. They would cut deep sometimes. The pain was overwhelming." He said before taking a deep breath. It was difficult psychologically to remember these things. He just wanted to forget. But he knew he needed to tell his story. As for my questions they were real. They asked information about the ARCHANGEL, about the PLANTs and ORB defenses. Possible weaknesses of the STRIKE FREEDOM and SAVIOUR. Information I never gave up. I took any punishment they had for me, to protect Miriallia and our child."

"When you were found hole with no injuries. Only scars of past ones. Can you explain?" Nicolas asked.

"I had just come out of a recent drug induced coma. They were about to take me for a another interrogation when the island came under attack. They shot me up with more drugs before pushing me back down into the hole. That is why I was found lying on the floor, I didn't have the strength to get to the bed."

"Captain Elsman" Cagalli started "Thank you I think we have all we need to proceed. But first I want to know after what you've been through, do you believe you can function in society. Do you believe you are able to live with the family you left behind?"

Dearka looked up at Cagalli. He knew what she really meant. She wanted to know if what he had been through had damaged him too much to ever be happy again. "I just… I want to live." He said simply. "For a long time that's all I've wanted. I wanted to see the woman I love. I wanted to hold her in my arms. I wanted to meet the child I left her with. Today I chose to tell you about what I had been through so that I could put it behind me. I know that it won't be easy. I've struggled to even get out of bed in the morning. My mind has been lost in itself for so long that I had trouble speaking. But I am still Dearka Elsman. Soldier of ZAFT. Former rebel alliance member. And son of Tad and Elena Elsman. I fought in two wars and countless battles. I've survived being a prisoner of war. And felt the grief of loss. I am stronger than the pain I've felt. I know when I look at Ava's face… that happiness is possible. My daughter is all the reason I need to move on with my life. And because of her I know I can find happiness again… with both her and her mother" He spoke with such sincerity in his voice. He was Dearka Elsman and nothing would ever change that.

"Whether it is something you want or not do you really believe you can put it behind you?"

"I was almost 20 when I was taken. I'm now 25 years old. I've lost years of my life. I deserve a chance to live the rest of my life with the people I care most about"

"Thank you."

The meeting soon ended. It was determined that Donald Rowe without a fraction of a doubt was guilty of countless kidnappings, murders, assaults, acts of treason, running an illegal organization and so much more. For his crimes he was to be executed. Dearka was so pleased to hear this. The young former couple walked out of the council building and out into the park, leaving Yzak to finish up with some business. Eventually they found themselves in front of the memorial fountain. Dearka looked at the many names engraved there. He reached out and ran his fingers over his. It was still there.

"We've been meaning to get it removed" Miriallia said.

"Miriallia I'm sorry" He said without looking at her. "I know what he tried to do to you"

She looked towards him shocked. "What do you mean?" She asked.

"The guy was a sociopath. He believed that coordinators all needed to be eliminated. That we were some kind of infestation. And because you were with me he believed you deserved the same treatment. The way you looked at me the other day… I know he tried to take advantage of you. And that kills me more than anything I've been through. I… I could hear your screams when you were struggling. I still hadn't completely lost consciousness yet. I wanted to help you but I couldn't. I was just trapped unable to move, listening to you fighting"

"Dearka… it wasn't your fault" She said putting her hand on his shoulder for comfort. "Nothing happened. I was able to protect myself"

"But you never should have had to." He blurted as he turned "It only happened to you because you had been in a relationship with me"

"Dearka I still love you. I've never stopped loving you"

"Then why do you look at me the way you do." He asked his voice cracking "You look at me like you wish you never found me. Like you wish I was still dead. I know it would make things so much easier for you"

"Maybe it would" She said sadly. "The end of this operation was suppose to be so much cleaner than this. I was suppose to finally find out what happened to you. Leave the military and focus on Ava and Harmonix. The two things you conceived before leaving. But things are never that simple. Instead what happened happened. I found you. And as hard as that has been I won't change it for the world. You're different now. Don't try to say you're the same. It's impossible. You can't have what happened to you happen and not be different… but that doesn't change that I love you. You will always be my hero, my protector, my friend and the man I love. Time will never change that. We went two years without seeing or speaking to each other, and we picked up where we left off like it was nothing. Time will never be our issue. You told me if we were destined to be together life would find away to always bring us together. So tell me Dearka Elsman… Do you still believe in destiny?"

He looked at the young woman. Tears streaming down her face. He grabbed her hand and pulled her into a tight hug. "Do I really still deserve you?" He asked.

"For the first time in our lives we've never deserved it more" she said cuddling close into his chest.

"I want to be a family with you. But I don't want to rush things. I need time. I want to still see both of you but I will still live with Yzak and Shiho. I'll start going to therapy. We'll give this a real shot."

Miriallia pulled away from him leaning up she kissed him. It felt so good to kiss him. She pulled away and looked him in the eyes "Days, weeks, months or years it doesn't matter. I'll wait for you forever Dearka Elsman"


	14. Epilogue: In Memorial Park

**Epilogue: In The Memorial Park** **  
*** Present Day - July 18th, 81 CE *****

"Nervous?" She asked looking at the man who was helping her put her shoes on.

"No… I'm excited" He said smiling at the girl. "I've been wanting this for so long." He finished snapping her shoe and then helped her to her feet. "You should go find Vero. The flower girl is suppose to walk down with the ring barer"

"But I want to stay with you daddy"

"I know. But I'll see you soon. I'll be by the fountain. Waiting for you and your mother" He kissed his little girl on top of the head before watching her scoot off towards the bridal tent.

Today was the day. The day he was going to be marrying the woman of his dreams. The mother of his child… Miriallia Haww. It had been a long road to recovering from everything he had been through. In reality he knew he could never fully move past it. So many died. So many suffered. But in the end he lived, and he intended on taking advantage of that. He vowed never to take anything for granted again.

"I wished you had been here for mine" he heard someone say behind him.

"Yzak" He said as he turned around and gave his friend a quick hug.

"It wasn't the same having Zala standing up there and your woman waddling down before Shiho. Definitely not the wedding I expected." he joked.

"Well it was your own fault. Marrying her after only a few months, you could have at least waited until Ava was born" He laughed.

"I'm glad I get to do this with you" Yzak said seriously. "I never thought I would. You two deserve a perfect day"

"We deserve a day. It doesn't need to be perfect. Even if everything went wrong today, as long as at the end of the day she was still mine it would be perfect."

"Are you ready then?" He asked. Dearka nodded and they made their way out towards the fountain in the middle of memorial park. The two men walked up to the fountain where they were met but Kira Yamato and Athrun Zala. Dearka looked past them and to the plaque. The plaque that had once for many years had his name engraved on it. He ran his fingers over the area that had been filled in. It wasn't perfect. If you looked hard enough you could still see a name under it. Just like him. He wasn't perfect. He was still damaged from what happened. He always would been. But that didn't mean he couldn't still be happy.

He heard the sound of music starting to play and he took his place. He was dressed in his black ZAFT uniform. Next to him was his best man Yzak in his white ZAFT uniform, followed by Athrun in his Orb Uniform and lastly Kira in a white ZAFT uniform. It was strange. It had be ten years since the days they all first fought, against each other and together. Ten long years since Dearka first met the beautiful natural who stole his heart.

Back then he believed what he had always been taught. Naturals and coordinators would always be enemies. But today looking out into the crowd he knew that wasn't true. Nothing proved that more than the little girl with her long blond hair in a braid who was making her way towards him. Ava was now five and a half. She was smart and brave. Natural or coordinator, it didn't matter to her. She was the product of both. And she was proud of her heritage.

She walked up the aisle arm looped with her 'cousin' Vero. He was a little over a year now and already starting to master walking. Both fathers waited with excitement as their children approached. They took them by the hands and waited as the woman started to come down the aisle. They were all gorgeous in their teal knee length dresses. But none were as beautiful as the bride. She was wearing a beautiful ivory a-line wedding gown with a sweetheart neckline and beaded belt. Her hair was pinned up in a beautiful updo that framed her face perfectly.

Miriallia was arm and arm with her father as they walked towards the fountain. Once there they were greeted by the officiant. "We are gathered here today to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, the joining of two hearts. In this ceremony today we will witness the joining Dearka Elsman and Miriallia Haww in marriage." He looked out into the crowd. "If there is anyone present who has just cause why this couple should not be united… please speak now or forever hold your peace" The park was silent. Only the sound of birds chirping filled the air. "Who gives this woman to be married today" He asked.

"I do" He father replied. He hugged her tightly and then went to sit by his wife and Tad Elsman. Dearka's father had been released from prison a few years after his granddaughter was born. After meeting her for the first time he began doubting his beliefs he had fought so hard for.

"Today we have come together to witness the joining of these two lives. For them, out in the middle of war, something extraordinary happened. They met each other, fell in love and are finalizing it with their wedding today. Romance is fun, but true love is something far more and it is their desire to love each other for life and that is what we are celebrating here today. A good marriage must be created. In marriage the "little" things are the big things. It is never being too old to hold hands. It is remembering to say, "I love you" at least once a day. It is never going to sleep angry. It is standing together and facing the world. It is speaking words of appreciation, and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways. It is having the capacity to forgive and forget. It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow. It is a common search for the good and the beautiful. It is not only marrying the right person - it is being the right partner. And now the bride and groom would like to share with you their personal vows they have written as they exchange rings. Dearka..."

"Miriallia… It has been ten long years since the first time I laid eyes on you. I didn't know it back then but that moment changed my life forever. I've have been through so many ups and downs over the past ten years. Some you were there for, but many you weren't. We've spent the better part of those years apart but I promise you that is over. From now until the day I die, the day I _really_ die, I promise to always be by your side. You are my destiny. I'll alway love you no matter what stands between us." He said as he placed the ring on her small delicate finger.

"Miriallia…"

"Dearka… you are my hero, my protector, my friend, the man I love and the father of my child. I've lost two men I loved in my life. I never imagined in a million years that one of them would come waltzing back. It was one of the most difficult and amazing thing to ever happen to me. And I wouldn't change it for the world. Getting a second chance with you made me realize how much I loved you. I promise no matter what I will alway be yours until my last breath. I vow to love and protect you. Because you are my destiny"

"By the power vested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride." Dearka without hesitation leaned in and kissed his beautiful bride. They could hear everyone clapping for them but they didn't care. All they saw was each other. They pulled away and looked deep into each other's eyes. "I present to you our happy couple: Dearka and Miriallia Elsman!"

They knew life would never be simple for them. It hadn't been yet. But they, from now on, were in it together. BLUE COSMOS was gone. The Bloody Valentine wars were over. Relationships between the naturals and coordinators were at an all time high. Life was pretty great. They were ready for their happy ending.

 _ **The End**_


End file.
